Because It Works
by autumnlyndz
Summary: Stress made them grow apart. Can love bring them back together? Sequel to Through It All. SS. COMPLETE.
1. Lover I Don't Have To Love

**AN: It took me awhile to come back, but I am now. I know it doesn't seem like a Seth/Summer fic right now, but I promise it is! Like I would write anything else…**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, this is pointless, because if I had anything to do with The O.C., I would not be writing a story about it. **

In their second year of college, and with a two -almost three- year old son, they both decided to call it quits. Well, actually, they called it quits last Chrismukkah when Seth caught Summer kissing another guy.

But they both knew that their break up was coming. Their relationship had become strictly physical, and whenever they did talk, they were snappy and impatient with each other. So it wasn't a break up or a time out. It was over, finished, in the past. However you wanted to put it, it would work, because there was nothing there anymore.

Well, there would always be something there. They could never truly stop loving each other. But they would never admit that those feelings were still there. It didn't need to be said anyways, because they both knew. They just pretended that they didn't.

They still lived together, but in a different house. Kirsten bought them a house right on the beach. It was still in Newport, and they drove to UCLA everyday for class. But it's not far, so it works.

Life works right now. Caden sometimes ask why mommy and daddy don't sleep in the same room, but they just tell him it's because mommy knows that Caden will run in mommy's room in the middle of the night and sleep with her so they just leave room for him.

One day he'll know the real reason, and it will work then, because what they tell him _now_ works.

Seth and Summer get along great now, too. They have a pact that they don't talk about their physical relations with other people (even though they don't have physical relations with other people), and that Caden can't spend a lot of time with either one of their significant others, because he has one mommy and one daddy and that's the way it works.

And they still flirt, and sometimes they share a kiss, and sometimes they do sleep in the same bed, but they know not to make anything of it because things work the way they are right now.

Well, they think it works. They actually just force themselves to believe its working, because being together means getting hurt, and their trying to spare each other and themselves that pain.

So even though things work now doesn't mean they'll always work and it doesn't mean they will always stay that way, because things can work in different ways.


	2. Smile Like You Mean It

**AN: I got a lot of negative reviews for the first chapter, but I don't have any complaints. A lot of people are questioning this as an SS story, and I assure you that it is. I wouldn't write anything but that. I just have a certain vision for this story. So if you like it, great, and if you don't, great. **

**Disclaimer: Yeah, this is pointless, because if I had anything to do with The O.C., I would not be writing a story about it. **

Seth Cohen sat comfortably on Summer's choice of a leather couch; Caden nestled in his lap, reading him his all-time favorite comic, Spider-man. Caden kept pointing at the pictures and asking how he got up in the air, and Seth explained that he had spidery-like features and could shoot stringy stuff from his fingertips.

Confusion spread on Caden's face and he shut the comic book. "Me no like spiders," he cried, snuggling closer to Seth's novelty tee shirt.

Seth smiled and wrapped his arm tighter around his son. "Me either," he replied. "How about we go get some ice cream once mommy leaves with her friend?"

Caden's face brightened twenty shades. "Really? I go get my shoes!"

Caden ran toward the stairs, his curly hair flopping in the air. He looked identical to Seth right down to his toddler converses. There was some debate with the master, meaning Summer, about getting the shoes for him. She didn't want her baby to be a dork.

But they bought them anyways, because when both her boys begged, she broke down.

Summer swished to the side of the staircase as Caden bounced up it hurriedly. She arched her eyebrow, smiling. "I told you to stop scaring him with Spider-man," she teased.

Seth sat back on the couch and picked up his comic book, flipping through the thin pages that were covered with illustrations of Seth's favorite comic character. "One day he'll realize how magical comics really are," he mumbled. "We're just going out for ice cream while you go on your date with David."

Summer set her purse down on the coffee table. "You're in a mood," she acknowledged while plopping down beside him. "No I'm not," he argued, looking over at her.

She gazed at him. He hated when she went on dates. But in all fairness, he dated too, and she hated it just as much. "You don't have to lie. I know you don't like David," she stated, looking at the clock on the wall. "He is so late. I'm going to strangle him with his own polo shirt if he does not show up soon."

Seth sighed and turned to another page. "I sure am happy I'm not David," he muttered softly. Summer leaned her head on Seth's shoulder. "I'd rather just skip this date and go out for ice cream with you and Caden. We haven't spent time together in a long time."

"Well we can't next weekend because Olivia and I have reservations at some new steak house on Prince Street," Seth noted. Summer groaned. "We never have time to do anything as a family. This weeks my date night and next week is yours and the cycle just keeps going. And we have school all week. When are we supposed to do stuff?"

"Um, I don't know, but it's not on my date night. Me and Olivia haven't been on a date in two weeks because you and David just _had_ to have those _great_ concert tickets two weekends in a row," Seth mocked excitement, standing up and walking into the kitchen.

"Well heaven forbid you miss a date with precious Olivia," Summer said under her breath.

Seth backed out of the kitchen doorway. "Did you say something?"

Summer forced a smile and shook her head. Headlights shined through the front windows and Summer leaped from the couch. "Caden, baby, mommy's leaving," she yelled.

Padded footsteps were heard upstairs and finally Caden's tiny body appeared at the top of the staircase. He skipped down them and raced across the living room. "I love you mommy."

Summer leaned down and kissed his forehead. "Have fun with daddy!"

Seth walked out of the kitchen and handed Summer her cell phone. "You left it on the counter," was all he said. Summer's face softened. "Thanks," she said, hugging him. "I'll be home at like, 10."

Seth nodded and held the door open for Summer as she shuffled outside. "Bye sweetie," Summer yelled before getting in the car. Seth leaned down and picked Caden up. "Well, buddy, it's just us tonight," Seth said, walking outside toward the car.

"You think we can have fun without your mommy?" Seth asked. Caden inhaled. "I don't know. Mommy makes it fun!"

Seth rolled his eyes. "We can have tons of fun without mom! She makes it b.o.r.i.n.g."

Caden gasped. "I'm telling on you!"

Seth laughed. "I guess we won't be getting ice cream, then," he played. Caden's eyes widened. "I won't tell I promise!"

Seth pulled in front of the go-cart track that was roughly 3 miles from his and Summer's house. "Well, we'll ride the go-carts first so you don't throw up your ice cream," Seth said, getting out of the car. He unfastened Caden from his car seat and held his hand as they walked into the ticket booth.

After waiting in line, they finally got their turn. Seth strapped Caden into the shotgun seat of the two-seater cart and they sped off. Caden laughed as they sped around the spiral track. "You're right daddy! We don't need mommy to have fun."

**_Le Club_ **

"This restaurant is really nice," Summer acknowledged, glancing around at her surroundings. Candles mirrored their orange light off of crystal wine glasses and illuminated the thick atmosphere of the room.

Sometimes she wished David would just take her out for burgers, fries, and a milkshake. But that would never happen. He came from an extremely wealthy family, like Summer, and would never go for anything cheap. In fact, David, in college just like Summer, had his own mansion. Summer just had a plain 2 story house on the beach.

That was typical California. Nothing set her apart from common society anymore. She had no complaints though, because whenever she wanted something from her father, he gave it to her. So if she wanted to have her own mansion, she could.

It'd be awfully hard to keep up with a three year old though.

David sipped his iced tea. "Anything for my girl," he replied, sliding his hand across the table and clutching Summer's. She smiled at him.

"So I was thinking we could go to that art gallery opening on 5th Avenue Wednesday. I heard they're supposed to have some really dark pieces."

Summer shook her head. "David, you know my Wednesdays aren't free. We have dinner at Cohen's house on Wednesdays. I'm sorry. Maybe Thursday?"

David sighed and leaned back in his chair. "You can't skip one Wednesday dinner?"

Summer diverted her eyes away from David's. Sometimes he just made it impossible. "I can't, David. Seth's parents don't get to see Caden throughout the week and Wednesdays are the only days that they do."

"And what, Seth and Caden can't go alone?"

Summer shifted uncomfortably. "It's a family dinner. I'm part of the family."

David held his hands up in defeat. "Ok, I'm sorry for wanting to spend time with you during the week rather than every other weekend," he retorted, obviously annoyed.

Summer took a drink of her water. "When we first got together, you promised me that if I wanted to spend time with my family it wouldn't be a problem. If you're starting to go back on what you said then…"

"No, Summer, I'm not going back on my word. I respect your designated family time. We'll go Thursday, ok?"

Summer smiled from across the round table as the waitress placed their plates on the table. "Ok"

**Ice Cream Parlor **

"That was so cool daddy! We flew right past that one car with the girls in it!" Caden yelped, jumping up and down.

Seth chuckled and held the door open to the parlor. Caden bounced in excitedly and skidded up to the counter. Seth saw the delight in his mini-self and asked, "Wutcha want?"

Caden tapped his finger over his red lips. "Chocolate, two scoops," he decided.

Seth rolled his eyes and slid the money over the counter. "You're too much like your mother."

Caden licked the dripping cone as they ventured back outside. "How about we rent a movie?" Seth asked, grabbing Caden's free hand.

Caden took about two hours picking out a movie, just like Summer always did, and he finally decided on Free Willy.

**Back at the house… **

Summer pushed the key through the lock and swung the door open, immediately met with the smell of buttery popcorn. She pushed the door shut with her foot and walked into the living room.

"It's about time you got home," Caden whined. Summer smiled. "Why's that?"

Seth nudged Caden in the side. "Let her have it," he said through a totally unbelievable fake cough.

Caden giggled and said "Because we rented a movie _and_ bought popcorn."

Summer looked at Seth and thanked him with her eyes. This was the family time she had been seeking. Her brown hair danced on her back as she walked over to the couch and sat down beside Seth. Caden sprawled his body across their laps and pushed play on the remote.

Summer rested her head on Seth's comfy shoulder. "Thanks Cohen. I really needed this."

Seth smiled and kissed her soft forehead. "Anytime"


	3. A Tale of Two Thanksgivings

**AN: Here's my shot at a Thanksgiving chapter. We've never really met anyone from Summer's family (except her dad) so here's the bunch at their finest. Also, thanks for the lovely reviews! I really appreciate them, criticism and all! Please continue to let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, this is pointless, because if I had anything to do with The O.C., I would not be writing a story about it. **

Laughter filled the Cohen's house as they all gathered around the table for their usual Wednesday night dinner. Talk about work, Caden, school, and other topics circulated around the large wooden table as everyone crammed rice, chicken, and steamed vegetables into their mouths.

Oh, family time. It was so…gross? Yeah, that was the word for sure. Talking about work while rice popped out of Cohen's mouth wasn't what anyone considered fun. But that was Seth for you. Family time in the Cohen household was always something strange.

Sandy was still planning that trip to Mt. Rushmore. No one was looking forward to that!

Finally, dinner was over and everyone sort of split into different areas of the house. Caden was in Seth's room, no doubt, looking at comic books. Ryan and Seth were playing some weird video game with Sandy while Marissa sat on the edge of the couch, messing with Ryan's blonde hair and Summer and Kirsten were cleaning the kitchen up.

Summer grabbed some plates from the table and scraped the leftover Chinese into the trashcan, slipping the glass plates into the hot dishwater once they were empty. "So is school going alright?" Kirsten asked while loading sauces back into the fridge.

Summer thought for a second before replying. "Yeah, it's going really good, actually." Kirsten smiled in response. "Well that's good. I could not even begin to imagine how stressed you both must be with school, work, and a three year old. But anytime you need Sandy and I just walk right through the door and ask."

Summer dried her hands with a dishtowel and leaned against the marble counters. Seth was going to hate her for this; he hated needing help. It about killed him when Kirsten bought a house for them. They accepted, of course, because it was what their family needed. But Seth didn't like it at all.

"Well, I kind of need a favor. Tiny," Summer began. Kirsten shut the stainless steal door to the refrigerator and turned to the mother of her grandchild. "Is everything ok?" she asked, worry in her tone.

Summer held her hand up. "Yeah, everything's fine. I just…Seth has to work a lot because I haven't been working, so I was just wondering if maybe I could do something at The Newport Group. I'm not asking for anything big; something minimum wage. Filing, maybe?"

Summer chipped nervously at the polish on her long nails. She heard Kirsten walk from the other side of the island and felt her motherly arms embrace her. "Of course I'll get you a job. Sweetie, you don't have to be shy about asking for things. Like I said, Sandy and I are here for anything you guys need."

Summer smiled and the two women hugged warmly.

_**Living Room**_

"What? Come on dad, your killing me. Literally," Seth shrieked, pressing down the buttons on his remote control.

_Game Over _displayed in red letters on the screen and Seth groaned. He glanced at his watch and sighed. "Well, it's getting late. We better get going," he announced, standing up from the floor.

They all said their goodbyes and the kids left the Cohen house, going back to their "adult" lives.

"So I was thinking," Summer said, glancing over at Seth in the drivers seat, "that we could spend Thanksgiving afternoon with your family and Thanksgiving night with mine."

Seth laughed. "I didn't know you had family. Well except for your dad and step-mom," he replied. Summer slapped his arm. "Of course I have family! They don't live in California, but my dad talked to my aunt yesterday and their flying in."

Seth pulled into the driveway and turned the car off. "Where do they live?"

Summer opened the door and stepped out into the chilly-for-Orange-County air. "Arkansas," she replied, unfastening Caden from his car seat. His tiny body molded into hers when she picked him up and she hugged him tighter to her small frame.

"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. You have red-neck family? Summer Roberts, you never cease to amaze me," Seth said truthfully. "What are you going to tell me next? You have family members in a traveling circus?"

Summer grinned at him. "I just might Cohen. You never know."

Seth held the door open for Summer and she entered the house, tip-toeing up the stairs toward Caden's room. Seth sat on the couch and propped his feet on the coffee table, flipping through the channels.

"Nine hundred channels and nothings on," he said to himself, finally settling on the cooking channel. Summer walked down the stairs shortly after and plopped down beside Seth.

He wrapped an arm around her tiny body and she leaned into him. "Caden asleep?" he asked, never diverting his eyes from the TV.

Summer nodded and readjusted her head. "Yeah…so when did you get so interested in cooking?"

Seth turned the flat screen TV off. "I haven't. I'm just bored," he replied. He swung his long legs onto the couch into a laying position and Summer did the same, flattening herself on top of him.

She rested her head on his chest and listened intently to his rhythmic heart beat. "Cohen?" she asked. After she heard no response she looked up at him and smiled. He was asleep.

Summer put her head back down on Seth's chest, the fleece of his sweater touching her skin softly. She listened for his heart beat again and let it sing her to sleep, feeling more connected to him than she had in a long time.

_**Next Morning**_

Warm sunlight seeped through thick curtains and onto Summer's back, raking her out of a peaceful sleep. A yawn escaped her body and she slowly opened her eyes, squinting from the sunlight.

She looked around in confusion and then up at Seth who was returning her gaze. "Sleep well?" he asked, referring to their current position. Summer smiled.

"Actually, yes," she replied, standing up and stretching. Seth got up and walked into the kitchen, Summer following. "Do you think it's weird that we slept on each other last night and now we're acting all normal like nothing happened?" Summer asked, fumbling with her hands.

"Summer," he said, popping his head up from behind the refrigerator door. "We don't have a normal relationship," he reminded her.

Summer huffed loudly. "I know, but that can't be healthy, can it? I mean, dating other people but sleeping on someone else. Seems a bit…weird," she said softly.

Seth pulled out a piece of bologna and tore off pieces of it, sticking them in his mouth. "Summer, we have a child together. I think it's ok if we sleep on the same couch every once in awhile," he said, holding up a piece of bologna in front of her face. He gestured it toward her mouth and she opened it, letting him feed it to her in the most unromantic of ways.

"If you say so," she said.

**_Thanksgiving…a week later _**

"Ok, the turkey is in the oven, the sweet potatoes are cooking and the wine is hidden from your mother. We don't want a repeat of the 2003 Thanksgiving fiasco," Sandy said, reminiscing.

Seth nodded in agreement. "Yeah, no," he said, remembering his very own debacle that day. Summer and Anna in the same house…not pretty. Ryan stared out the window. "That Thanksgiving consisted of me and Marissa stealing a car for Trey," he tossed in.

"Don't you just love the holidays?" Sandy asked, looking at both guys.

Kirsten bounced into the kitchen excitingly. "Don't you just love the holidays? Everyone coming together; it's wonderful."

Sandy cocked his eyebrow. "I thought I hid the wine," he mumbled just loud enough for the boys to hear. Ryan concealed a grin. "So the turkey's not going to burn like it has the past few years, is it?"

Kirsten shook her head. "No, because this Thanksgiving we're going to celebrate it like normal families do. No take-out, no burned turkeys, and no drama," she replied.

"Well I don't know how long the drama ban will last but it's a nice gesture," Seth said, knowing that there would be drama. It was inevitable. It was Orange County.

Kirsten sighed. "Just humor me," she demanded without much enforcement.

Only a few hours later, dinner was served, and to everyone's surprise, it wasn't burned. All the blood didn't rush to Seth's stomach, causing him to pass out at the table like he had dreamed so many times, but he did stuff himself.

Summer did the same, savoring the feeling of a holiday gone normal. It would probably never happen again. Plus, the normality of the day would probably end soon because Seth was meeting her hillbilly family from the good ole' south and they definitely were not normal people.

"Remember last Thanksgiving when Caden threw mashed potatoes all over Kirsten?" Marissa asked, giggling at the recollection.

Everyone's laughter mixed together in monotone sounds that made the mood so much more relaxed. "Well at least he didn't fling peas at my eyes like he did with Seth," Kirsten remarked, smiling.

Caden beamed from his chair, happy to be the topic of conversation.

"Oh, Summer," Kirsten began. "I managed to get you that job at The Newport Group. I've been meaning to call you about it but I just couldn't get around to it," she finished.

Summer glanced at Seth fretfully. "Ugh…thanks. Can we talk the details later? Work always puts a damper on conversation," she said anxiously.

Seth took a drink of his soda. "What job, mom?" he asked curiously, looking at Kirsten and Summer questionably.

Kirsten gave Summer an apologetic look. "Summer wanted to know if maybe we had a position available at the office so I looked into it for her."

Seth swallowed. "Because we need help, right? I can't take care of my own family?"

Kirsten shifted in her seat. "No one said that, Seth."

Seth set his fork down. "You implied it," he said, standing from the table. "Summer doesn't need to get a job because I'm taking care of it. I can take care of my family."

"Stop acting so self-righteous, Seth," Sandy said sternly, jumping into the conversation.

Seth glared at his dad before walking out of the quiet kitchen. Summer excused herself and went after him, joining him outside by the pool.

"I was trying to help, Cohen," she murmured, sitting down beside him. He turned his head and stared at her. "Do you trust me?" he asked inquisitively.

Summer nodded. "Of course I do," she replied. "I do trust you, but I know that you shouldn't have to handle everything on your own. I can get a job, Cohen. It's not a big deal. We need the money."

He sighed. "I don't want you to feel like I can't take care of you, ok? I don't want you to feel like that."

Summer felt her insides turn to mush. "I know you can take care of me. You do everyday. But I want to help you…because I want to take care of you too," she said gently.

Seth sighed. "Will you please just let me take care of it? Please?" he asked softly.

Summer looked down at her brown suede boots. She didn't want to tell him that she would let him bear the weight of school and a job all on his own, but he had gotten so much pride in being able to take care of his family and she didn't want to be the one to smash that.

She bit her lip unflappably. "Fine," she whispered.

Seth stood from the decorative chair and held his hand out to Summer. She slipped her small hand in his and he dragged her back inside; back to their normal Thanksgiving.

The rest of the afternoon went smoothly. The lunch calamity was soon forgotten, which was good because it could have ruined the rest of the afternoon.

As the sun began setting, they all said their goodbyes and went off to their Thanksgiving dinners. Seth, Summer, and Caden were headed back to their house, expecting Summer's relatives in shortly. And Marissa, Ryan, Kirsten and Sandy made their way to Caleb's for a catered meal.

"Caden," Summer said, grabbing his hand as they walked inside their house. "I want you to go wash your hands and get ready for dinner," she said, patting him on the butt as he strolled upstairs.

Summer went into the kitchen and pulled the golden turkey from the oven, setting it on the counter. The juicy aroma filled the kitchen and it made her mouth water. Cohen sure could cook.

The doorbell sang loudly through the house and Summer jumped. They were here already? She skipped out of the kitchen and jerked the door open, smiling brightly.

"Oh my stars look at this pretty girl!" Summer's Aunt Bee exclaimed, pulling her into a tight hug. "I haven't seen you since you were…well knee high, I guess," she said.

"EARL! EARL, GET OVER HERE AND LOOK AT THIS PRETTY OLE' GIRL!" she screamed, looking behind her.

Summer saw her Uncle Earl waddle from the car and stop in his tracks. "Well, gee, isn't she a pretty little thing?" he asked, kissing her on the cheek. "This can't be the same little girl who went mudding that one summer with your cousin Jack. You got so dirty, I thought Aunt Bee was gonna have to hose you down before she would let you in the house," he recalled.

Summer's cheeks turned red. "Well, come in. I don't want to leave you outside," she said, opening the door wider.

"Where's Jack and Belle?" she asked, looking back outside.

Bee put her suitcase on the floor and planted her hands on her wide hips. "Well look at this house. I tell you something, your daddy didn't tell us that having a child before marriage was gonna land you a mansion!"

Seth waltzed down the stairs and stopped at the view. Bee's eyes lit up. "Well this must be your guy," she acknowledged, winking at Seth. "How you doing, sugar?"

Seth swallowed. "I'm good…"

Summer slammed her hands together. "How about we eat?"

Earl opened the front door and called out to Jack and Belle to come inside, and about five seconds later they appeared.

Summer pulled them both into hugs, exclaiming to Belle about how they could go shopping tomorrow. Belle shared Summer's excitement while Jack eased himself away, walking toward Seth.

"I'm Jack," he said, putting forth his hand. Seth shook it politely. "I'm Seth," he said, introducing himself.

"I tell ya…that Summer is a real fire ball," he said.

Seth looked over at Summer. Her lips were curled up into a smile and her head was titled back in laughter. Jack followed Seth's gaze and he smiled. "You guys have been together for awhile, huh?" he asked.

Seth broke his daze, coughing lightly. "What? No…we were together but we broke up."

Jack stuck his hands in the pockets of his Levi jeans and rocked back and forth on his heels. "Seems to me you'd rather have it differently," he pointed out before walking off.

Seth looked back over at Summer, transfixed. Was Jack right? Would he rather have it differently? They'd spent so much time apart that he just kind of dodged any feelings that could still be there.

Summer turned her head and looked at Seth, still smiling. She lingered her gaze a little longer before turning her attention back to Belle.

Bee shuffled down the stairs with Caden in tow, blaring loudly. "EARL! Look at this little button! Is he not the cutest thing you ever saw?"

Earl kneeled in front of Caden and patted his matted, curly brown hair. He reached into the pockets of his overalls and pulled out a piece of candy, handing it to Caden's chubby hands.

"Save it for after supper," he advised. Caden eyes lit up as he took the piece of candy and stuffed it down in his pockets.

"Mommy, I'm hungry," he said, walking over to Summer and hugging her knees.

Summer smiled and took his hand in hers. "Well we better get some yummy stuff in that tummy," she said, walking him to the kitchen.

The rest of the family followed, eager to eat.

As they all settled down, Seth began to eat, and Bee stared in disbelief. "Young man," she said strongly. "Didn't your mother ever teach you to say grace before eating?"

Seth looked up from his food and glanced quizzically at Summer. "Grace?" he asked.

Bee rested her hand over her heart. "See Earl, I told you. Didn't I tell you? All you California people sit around with your surfboards and your fake tans and think that you don't need the grace of God. But I'll tell you what. He'll condemn you to the fiery gates of hell when judgment day comes around!"

Seth gulped. "I'm Jewish," he informed her. Bee closed her eyes and shook her head. "Summer, you need to convert this poor old soul to Christianity."

Summer suppressed a laugh. "I've been trying. He just never comes to church with me on Sundays," she lied, taking a drink of her iced tea. Seth's mouth dropped open. "Church? Summer, you can't be serious. You've never been to church!"

Summer shook her head. "You see? He thinks making up lies will save him."

Earl coughed. "Well, this here food is gettin' cold, so let's just say grace and dig in," he said. "Gracious and heavenly father, thank you for giving us this day to spend with family and be grateful for every day you give us. Please bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies. In your name we pray, Amen."

_**Later…**_

Seth tossed the sheets of Summer's bed back, crawling in. "I still don't see why Jack had to have his own room. He could have slept on the couch," Seth complained, irritated that he didn't get to sleep in his own bed.

Well, he was irritated because ever since Jack had said what he said, Seth couldn't stop thinking about Summer. And now he had to sleep with her? Apparently the feelings had still been there because they were hitting him forcefully now, and he wished to God they would go away.

Summer climbed in on the other side of the bed and turned the lamp off on her end table. "Seth, they're family and I wasn't going to stick them on the couch. That's rude," she said.

"I can't believe you told them you go to church," he said, laughing. Summer hit his chest playfully. "It would break my aunt's heart if she knew I don't go to church. Their big Christians," she reminded him, not that he needed to be.

"Yeah well…and then she made us sit down and tell what we're thankful for? You have a bizarre family, Summer."

Summer rolled over to face Seth. "Yeah…but I love them. I used to go to Arkansas every summer and we would swim and cook out and go hunting…it's so different there; nothing like it is here," she said, a distant sadness in her voice.

"I don't know this side of you," Seth began. "I only know the 'I love to shop until Seth drops' part of you. Not the 'I'm going to kill a buck' part."

Summer laughed. "You can't really show that part of yourself in Newport Beach. But I'm thankful that I am that person. I'm grateful for my family," she said, pouring her thoughts out for Seth to catch.

"Yeah, well, I'm thankful for you," he said, kissing the end of her nose. Summer sucked in her breath. She could feel feelings resurfacing and the want to kiss Seth spread throughout her body. His lips were right there. His face was right there. She could feel his breath on her face and it was causing shivers to chase themselves up her back.

Summer closed her eyes. It was now or never. She could kiss Seth, she could finally feel his lips on hers, or she could back away.

Now or never.


	4. The Stupid Things

**AN: I am so, so sorry for not updating sooner! I've been so busy. But now that we're on Christmas break, I'll be getting chapters up more often. Sorry again!**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, this is pointless, because if I had anything to do with The O.C., I would not be writing a story about it. **

**

* * *

**

_All I want to do is please you, please myself by living my life too._

* * *

She had wanted to kiss him. God, she had wanted to kiss him _so _bad. In fact, if it weren't for him pulling away because he was "thirsty", she would have kissed him. And it would have been nice. 

But he didn't want to, which had become clearer than crystals.

Summer snapped her eyes shut when light from the hall flooded her dark bedroom. She felt the weight of his body press into the mattress. He was back from getting his 'drink'.

She didn't move the whole night. Their bodies didn't even touch the whole night. The sexual tension was back; an unwelcome blast from the past.

* * *

Seth had _wanted_ to kiss her. I mean, she was Summer Roberts, and even though that sounded totally high school, and even though they had been together before and had had a son together, she was _still_ Summer Roberts - the girl who intimidated him. 

But he couldn't. She would regret it, which would make him regret it, which would cause disastrous arguments, and probably some bruises. Summer's rage blackouts hadn't exactly cooled over the years.

And his throat _was_ dry.

Besides that, there was still a little tension between them and they hadn't even kissed! Seth sighed. If they had kissed, it would be so much weirder. It was eight days until Chrismukkah, twenty-one days after their near mouth-to-mouth extravaganza, and still, things weren't back to normal.

Seth snapped out of his remembrance of how awkward the past few weeks had been when Summer walked in to the kitchen, swinging the refrigerator door open and pulling out a jug of orange juice.

"I am so happy we're out for a month. I was about to have a melt down," she slurred, dragging her feet to the table and plopping down in the wooden chair. She downed her orange juice quickly and let out a small yawn.

Seth looked her over. Her hair was piled on her head in a catastrophic mess. She had a pair of flannel red pajama pants on and a UCLA top. Black liquid didn't line her eyes and a glossy film wasn't coating her lips. And she still looked beautiful.

He laughed lightly. "You look a hot mess," he said, taking a bite of his cereal. She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well those lime green Scooby Doo boxers aren't really working wonders for you either."

Seth pretended to be hurt. "You really have excellent comebacks in the mornings."

Summer shook her head and stood up. "I'm gonna go get dressed. I have so much Chrismukkah shopping to do."

Seth caught her arm and she spun around. "Well do you want some company?" Summer nodded. "Sure," she said. "I'm buying Caden's presents today so if you were coming to get a peak at what you're getting, you're out of luck," she informed him.

Seth stood up. "Summer, Summer, Summer," he stared. "I'm shocked that you would think such things of me."

Summer grinned. "I have to go get ready. If you're not ready in an hour, glamour boy, I'm leaving you here to baby-sit. Oh! Speaking of, can you call your mom and see if she'd mind watching Caden today? Thanks!"

Seth waved his hand. "You're the one who spends an hour in the bathroom. And yeah, I'll call her."

Summer smiled and pranced up the stairs.

* * *

Summer strolled slowly down every Toys R Us aisle, occasionally picking things up and examining the toy. Sometimes she would toss it in the cart, but mostly, she would read the box for about an hour, see what the toy was about, and then distastefully put it back on the shelf. 

Seth groaned. "Summer, we have been in this store for like five hours and there are only four things in the cart. Would you please, _please_ hurry up?"

Summer glared at Seth. "Cohen, this is how I shop. Besides, I can't get Caden toys with small parts or anything that's violent like that King Kong thing you picked out. It would scare him half to death!"

Seth inhaled. "Excuse me, but King Kong would not scare Caden. He's a tough kid!"

"Which is why he won't go to the bathroom by himself anymore? I told you to stop scaring him with freaking Spider Man stuff and you just can't do that," she retorted flatly.

Seth put his hands up in defeat. "You're right. What was I thinking? He's your kid so I should just back off."

Summer violently slammed a toy on the floor and huffed loudly. "Damn it, Seth! When will you grow up? You're always making remarks like that when things get awkward between us, or when we get in a fight."

"Isn't it the truth? I had to grovel just so Caden could have some Converses. You don't let me make any decisions when it comes to him. You think you're the only parent he has!"

Summer bit her lip. "Why can't this just stop between us? You've been picking fights with me for weeks now. If you have something to say to me, say it. I'm a big girl, Cohen. I can take it," she stated firmly, meeting his hard gaze.

Seth exhaled. He didn't know how to go about this conversation, so he decided he'd have to be blunt. Sooner or later they were going to have to talk about it. "Were you going to kiss me?"

Summer bent down and picked the box up, placing it neatly back on the shelf for another mother to disapprove of. "Yeah," she confirmed, almost as if it wasn't a big deal.

Seth grabbed her hand softly but she refused to raise her eyes from the specks on the floor. "Summer, you said you wanted to talk about this."

Her deep brown eyes finally sought his out. "Why?" he questioned, refusing to let go of her small hand.

"I really don't know. I guess I got a little to holiday festive. But it really doesn't matter because you didn't want to kiss me, so I ended up looking like an idiot."

"Summer," he began, "I didn't think of you as an idiot. You're right; too much holiday spirit. And I didn't want to kiss you because I didn't want things to be awkward between us, which happened anyways, despite my efforts to prevent it."

Summer nodded understandingly.

"So are we okay?" he asked, playing with her class ring that currently occupied her finger.

Summer bit her lip. "Well, do you really think that I think that I'm Caden's only parent?"

Seth said no, Summer smiled, and he pulled her tiny frame into a hug.

* * *

The ding of the doorbell rang loudly through the Cohen-Roberts residence, interrupting Summer from her present-wrapping hour. She skidded to the door, hoping it was the pizza for her rumbling tummy, but was quickly disappointed at the sight of Olivia: Seth's girlfriend. 

Her blonde hair rested in short ringlets on her shoulders and her enormous blue eyes sparkled brightly. She smiled through her red lips and asked, "Is Seth around?"

Summer suddenly felt walls build up inside of her. She didn't want Ms. Gorgeous Malibu Barbie in her house. Summer swallowed her hatred and jealousy, though, and plastered a weak but believable smile on her face, welcoming Olivia into the house.

"Uh, yeah," Summer muttered. "I'll go get him. Make yourself at home," she said, smiling once more at Olivia before jogging up the stairs to retrieve Seth.

Summer knocked softly on his door before pushing it open. The smell of cologne and Captain Crunch engulfed her as she walked in his room. "Barbie's here."

Seth looked up from his book. "Olivia's here? Why?"

Summer shrugged her shoulders. "How the hell would I know? She's your play toy," she remarked hastily.

Seth rose from his bed and smoothed out his shirt. "I hope I didn't forget a date or something. Was she dressed up?"

Summer smiled. "Well she sure is lucky to have you," she said sarcastically. "You can't even remember if you have a date?"

Seth walked past Summer. "Um, she is lucky because I'm irresistible."

Walking down the stairs, Seth saw Olivia waiting patiently on the couch, flipping through a magazine. Olivia was really pretty. She wasn't Summer, or anything, but no one was. Except for Summer, of course.

"Hey," he said, walking over to her. She stood and kissed him lightly. "I know this is so spontaneous and all, so if you don't want to go, just say so."

Seth stared curiously at her. "I'm listening."

Olivia smiled. "I'm leaving for Chicago on Thursday to spend Christmas with my parents…and I want you to come with me."


	5. This Is How A Heart Breaks

**A/N: Thank you bunches for all the lovely reviews! They really keep me writing, because without them I wouldn't. So thank you so much for those! I really love them. Also, sorry again for not updating sooner! **

**Disclaimer: Yeah, this is pointless, because if I had anything to do with The O.C., I would not be writing a story about it. **

* * *

_"Knowing nothing is better than knowing at all"_

* * *

Seth climbed the stairs with a cloud of mounting doom suspended over his head. With each step that brought him closer to Summer, he felt a wave of dread weighing down heavily on his soul.

He didn't know why it bothered him that he was about to have a talk with Summer. They'd had dozens of talks lately, most of them leaving him completely physically and emotionally drained, but that was to be expected. He couldn't understand why this time he actually FEARED conversation.

Okay, scratch that. He did know why he was scared to talk to Summer.

"_Chicago? Wow…that's big," Seth thought aloud. Olivia bit her upturned lip. _

"_It's a big step," she admitted. "But I think we're ready for that. We've been dating for nine months now…"_

_Seth took her hand in his. "Okay."_

Seth's hand stilled on the doorknob, fearing the woman who resided on the other end; she'd hate him. Summer Roberts was not a fan of leavers. He had been one to her before. She had been one to him. He was being one again.

He twisted it slowly, and hearing the click of it opening, his breathing became heavy.

Hesitantly, he pushed the door open further. Wrapping paper, ribbons, bows and sparkles greeted him colorfully as he glanced around the room. Summer grabbed a pillow and quickly tossed it over the present she was wrapping.

"Cohen, what are you doing in here? I'm wrapping presents…"

Seth smiled mischievously. "Do any of them happen to be mine?"

Summer smiled. "Maybe, so you HAVE to leave. Like, right now!"

Seth held a finger up. "Yeah, see, here's the thing though. I kind of need to talk to you, so if you could turn the lights off so I can tell you this and you won't be able to find me to hit me should you find the urge, that would be great. The turning the lights off thing, I mean. It's not really great if you want to hit me."

Summer narrowed her brown eyes. "Cohen, you're rambling. What is it?"

Seth looked up at the shining light bulb. "The lights still one, so-"

Summer walked toward the light switch, reaching for the wall and turning them off speedily. "Spill it, Cohen."

Seth saw the outline of her body in the darkness and instantly regretted saying "okay" to Olivia. _Why_ had he agreed to go to Chicago with Olivia? He was going to be spending Christmas with another family; a family that wasn't his.

But he had to, because it was hitting him –finally- that him and Olivia weren't getting any closer to a serious relationship, and he had to try and get there with her, because if he didn't, he could never move on from Summer.

"I'm going to Chicago Thursday…to spend Christmas with Olivia's family."

Summer felt the air in the room thicken and her head spun with rage.

"What!" she shrieked, anger and shock in her tone. "Are you being serious?"

Seth reached for her but she backed away when she felt him touch her. "Let me get this straight. You are leaving _us_ to spend Christmas with _Olivia_? Seth, you have a family of your own. You have a little boy that wants to spend Chrismukkah with his daddy. What am I supposed to tell him?"

Seth sighed. "Will you please try and understand that-"

Summer shook her head. "Okay, I have an idea," she interrupted uncaringly. "Spend Christmas Eve here and then leave late that night for Chicago. You can spend Christmas day with her."

Seth looked surprised. "You were supposed to get mad and hit me and stuff."

"I am mad," she confessed. "Actually, I am so pissed that I could jam a fork in your most precious region. But you are spending some kind of Christmas here, so I'm making that happen. Deal?" she asked, daring him to say no.

Seth searched the dark air for her hand, and once he found it, he shook it, swinging it up and down in the air. "You've got yourself a deal."

* * *

Wrapping paper littered the living room and toys were everywhere, Caden going from one to another. He was currently occupied with the train that 'Santa Claus' brought him.

Summer kept playing with the necklace Seth had gotten her. It was probably the sweetest thing anyone had ever given to her, and the fact that it was him that gave it to her made it so much sweeter.

She had gotten teary when he slid the sterling silver, heart shaped necklace with the name Caden on it around her neck. She secretly wished his name was engraved on it, too.

Seth kept flipping through his favorite gift Summer had gotten him, which was an original issue of _Spiderman_, one of the first ever made. He kept asking her over and over how she had gotten it, but she just shook her head, laughed, and kept watching Caden play with his toys.

"Well we should go get dressed If we're gonna make it to my moms by 12:00," Seth said, standing up. Summer pouted her bottom lip and held her hands up in the air.

"You can't get up on your own?"

Summer hatefully glared at him. "You truly don't know what manners are, or how to treat a lady," she countered, starting to stand on her own. Seth grabbed her arm and pulled her the rest of the way up, smirking at her. "Yes I do," he said.

Summer rolled her eyes. "It doesn't count as manners if the girl has to tell you what to do."

Seth scooped his presents up and started up the stairs. "Whatever," he said.

Summer swung Caden on her hip, much to his dismay, and walked upstairs with him, explaining that he could play with his toys later, but he had to get ready to go to grandma' s house first.

* * *

"Merry Chrismukkah!" Kirsten exclaimed, swinging the front door open and smiling brightly at her grandson. "Did Santa come to visit you last night?" she asked, taking his hand and leading him inside.

Caden nodded excitingly and held out a toy plane he got. "I gots a plane and a train and lots and lots of other stuff…" he explained.

Kirsten smiled and kissed his cheek before looking up to Seth. "Ryan and Marissa are in the pool house," she said quickly before walking Caden into the kitchen.

Summer walked to the green tree and placed the presents they had bought for the rest of the bunch underneath. "Well, I'm gonna go say hey to Coop," she said, walking out the clear doors to the pool house.

Only a few hours later, Summer was hugging Seth goodbye as he walked out the door to Olivia's car, his flight leaving for Chicago in an hour.

Summer sighed as she leaned against the white door, pressing it closed. Caden was sleeping upstairs so the house was painfully quiet. Summer glanced around at the still messy living room, deciding to clean.

Her dad would be over soon, and unfortunately, so would her step-mom. Summer crammed wrapping paper and boxes into a trash bag, singing softly to herself as she cleaned up.

The ringing of the telephone sang loudly through the house and Summer picked it up, asking "Hello?" as sweetly as she could.

"May I speak to a Miss Summer Roberts?"

"Um, this is she," Summer said in response, continuing to pick up the living room, balancing the phone on her shoulder and pressing her ear against it.

"Hi, Summer. This is Nurse Shelly, from the hospital. Your father and mother been involved in a car accident and we'd like you to get to the hospital as soon as possible."

Summer dropped the pieces of wrapping paper and stood up straight. "Step- mother, and are they alright?" she asked, her voice quivering.

"Your father is in the ICU and your step-mother is on her way to surgery," the nurse said, explaining both their conditions in short words. Her father was in the ICU. That was a place that was only visited when you were in the need of intensive care for intensive injuries, and her step-mom was in surgery.

"I'll be right there," Summer responsed, clicking the phone off. She told her body to move but she couldn't. She just stood there, limp, and worried about her dad. He used to be her best friend.

Finally, she picked up the phone and called Kirsten, explaining everything and then asking if Kirsten could meet her at the hospital. She would, and Summer was glad because she couldn't do this alone. But Seth was high up in the air with Olivia, so she'd have to have another Cohen with her. And who better than the woman who had been most like a mom to her: Kirsten Cohen?

* * *

Summer's eyes were blurred with tears as she looked at her dad, hooked to wires, bandages on his head, bruises on his arms. The only sound was the 'beep beep beep' sound, and frankly, she could live without it.

But it was better than a long drawn out beep that meant his heart was no longer beating.

Her step-mom, Gloria, was still in surgery and that was all Summer knew about her condition.

Kirsten was walking the halls with Caden, trying her best to keep him occupied. He kept pointing in at the reorganization of his grandpa, but he wasn't permitted in the room, and even if he was, neither Summer nor Kirsten would allow him to see Neil, his grandpa, in such a condition.

Summer rose from the salmon colored chair and kissed her fathers cheek lightly before leaving the room. She wiped the tears off of her face and tried her best to pull herself together. She hated crying.

Kirsten smiled warmly at her. "I know it's hard," she said, walking over to Summer and embracing her weak body in a hug. Summer sniffed and more tears started to fall, landing on Kirsten's' shoulder.

"But he's going to be okay," she said, pulling back and smiling at Summer. Kirsten wiped the salty tears that were streaking down Summer's face. "I promise."

Summer nodded. "Yeah, I really hope so," she said quietly. "I'm gonna go get some coffee from the cafeteria. Do you want anything?"

Kirsten shook her head. "Why don't you let me go, honey? You can stay here and be with your dad."

Summer waved her hand. "No, I really just need to walk around for awhile. I can't stand being in that room much longer, and I just need some time alone."

Kirsten nodded understandingly. Summers eyes were saddened and Kirsten knew that she really needed Seth. Sighing, Kirsten picked a sleepy Caden up and sat in an empty chair, balancing him on her lap as he leaned back into her chest.

Not even five minutes later a nurse rushed out of Neil's room, frantically calling for a doctor who soon entered the room. Things were being demanded and the room was full of nurses and doctors, trying to save their crashing patient.

Kirsten rose from her chair, holding her sleeping grandbaby close to her, and walked towards the room, meeting the sound that everyone dreaded. The sound that meant he might not live, and that her promise to Summer would soon be broken.

Tears welled in Kirsten's eyes as the doctor called Neil's time of death.


	6. I Want To Save You

**A/N: Short chapter, I know. It was a very emotional and sensitive chapter and I didn't want to make it to long. I really don't think anyone wants to read a 3,000 word chapter about tears. So please review and let me know how you think the story is evolving. Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. **

_

* * *

"I wanna save you. Let me save you."

* * *

_

Summer's head rested on her knees, her body rocking back and forth. Her brown eyes tried unfalteringly to hold in the tears that so desperately wanted to stain her cheeks. She was a disaster, and she knew that.

A huge part of her really thought –and hoped– that her dad was going to be okay. Only a tiny part of her thought he might not make it, and that tiny part was so hugely correct. And even though she thought he might not make it, she never thought about how it would be if he actually died.

Summer had never imagined losing her dad, and now it was thrust upon her and she had no idea how to react. She actually had no idea how to react to _losing _someone. Sure, her mom died, but she was so young and helpless then. Death meant heaven, and that had comforted her at such an innocent age. But now, after growing up, Summer questioned heaven and God. Why would anyone want someone to hurt so badly?

The front door opened and Summer lifted her heavy head. Seth was standing in the doorway, looking back at her with love and sympathy and a million other things only she could see in him.

Closing the door, he walked toward her, grabbing her arms and pulling her up. He wrapped his arms around her and Summer leaned into his embrace.

She had no idea what time it was, but she knew it was late, or early, because Sethwas home. Kirsten called him, and he left Chicago, and now he was here, and that comforted Summer more than words could describe.

Seth kissed Summer's forehead, his arms still around her, and said "I'm so sorry."

Summer's lips quivered and her eyes snapped shut as salty tears finally escaped. "It's not fair, Cohen. It's not fair, it's not fair, it's not fair…" she repeated and repeated, finally collapsing into sobs.

"I know, baby. It's not," he whispered into her hair. He could feel her tears seeping through his shirt and he held her tighter, wanting all the pain she felt to somehow jump into his body. He already felt a ton of it, though, because he hated to see her in pain. He hated it more than anything else in the world.

"And I know you won't believe it now, but everything will be okay again," he said, running one of his hands through her hair. Summer pulled away from him, shaking her head. "No it won't," she said. "It is not going to be ok ever again! Who's going to walk me down the aisle when I get married?" she asked, her voice cracking as more tears spilled from her swollen eyes.

"He's not going to be here to see Caden grow up, or to see any other children I may have be born. He's not going to be there when I graduate college," Summer cried, walking up the stairs until she reached the top, where she stopped, her body racked in tears.

"I'll never hear him call me his li-little girl again…" Summer sobbed, resting her body against the wall and slipping down to the floor.

Her body shook as she cried.

Seth sat down beside her, trying to console her, but she just pushed him away. "I wanna know why he had to die! I wanna know WHY he can't be here for me. I WANT TO KNOW WHY MY STEP-MOM IS STILL ALIVE AND HE ISN'T!"

Summer stood up, yelling out her frustrations. Seth was glad that Caden was at his parents' house because he definitely didn't need to see his mommy like this.

Seth stood up, to, and pulled Summer into a hug. She tried to fight him and push him away but he wouldn't allow it, choosing to show off how strong he could actually be. She finally went slack in his arms and continued to cry.

They stood like that for what seemed like hours. Summer had finally stopped crying. Seth pulled back a little, asking her if she wanted to go to bed, and she shook her head yes.

Getting her ready for bed was a task all in itself. He'd left her alone for awhile, but later, when he went to check on her, she was still in her clothes, a bump on the floor. So he helped her change, which was hard because she kept slipping into episodes of tears.

Finally, he tucked her into bed, kissing her forehead lightly. "Let me know if you need anything," he said quietly, starting toward her door. But her tiny, vulnerable voice asked him to please stay, so Seth turned around, crawling into bed with her.

Seth sighed, knowing this probably wasn't the best idea but also knowing that she needed him, so he stayed, wrapping his arms around her fragile body. Their foreheads were touching and he tried to make out her face in the darkness.

He could feel her thick breathing on his face and hear her quiet sniffles. He had no idea what to do to help her. She was falling apart in his arms. Remembering a song played at his grandma Nichols funeral, Seth opened his mouth and softly sang a part of the song he remembered.

_Time will ease your pain  
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same _

How can I help you to say goodbye?  
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry.  
Come, let me hold you and I will try  
How can I help you to say goodbye?

She was still crying, even a little harder, and Seth silently punished himself for doing that. She didn't say anything for awhile, and Seth was about to apologize when her wet lips found his. It was the tenderest kiss they'd ever shared.

Seth pulled away when the need for oxygen just couldn't wait any longer, and he kissed her all over her face; her nose, her cheeks, anywhere. Everywhere.

Summer sighed, her heart melting as his lips made sweet, warm contact with her flesh. "Cohen," she breathed, finding his lips again. This kiss was more urgent, more filled with need than the one before. She needed him so bad.

Seth trailed hot kisses down her neck and Summer gripped his curly strands of hair between her fingers. Suddenly, he stalled his lips and dropped his head into the crook of her neck, just breathing. "Don't stop, Cohen. Please…I need you. _Please_," she begged.

Seth brought his head up, searching her eyes. "David," he reminded her.

"Olivia," she whispered.

Summer bit her lip. "Don't think, okay? And for once, don't talk," she demanded, trying to sound strict but failing. She brought her lips back to his before he could protest and he rolled on top of her, kissing her back with the same amount of intensity she was kissing him with.

Summer couldn't describe how good it felt to be back in his arms again. For the longest time their attraction to one another had been denied, and even though the circumstances leading up to this moment were definitely unfortunate, she was still in his arms, and he was still kissing her, and his hands were still rubbing circles on her hips, and they still fit together like pieces of a broken puzzle.

It was being put back together.

* * *

Warm sunlight invaded Summer's room and she snuggled closer to the body beside her, pulling the covers over their heads. She was so weak from the night before. Seth had definitely worn her out, but she was more emotionally drained than anything.

Her eyes burned from tears and her heart ached with misery, and the only thing keeping her from completely falling apart was Seth. He risked his relationship with another woman to be there for her, and he said things to her that gave color to her face.

Nothing would ever be the same for them again. There was no way it could be. He whispered the most loving and tender things to her as he slipped into the depths of her soul, and Summer knew that the night before couldn't be written off as sympathy sex. And she was glad, because David said nice things to her, but never that she was the most beautiful person inside and out, and that he'd love her until the day he died.

Seth's eyes slowly opened and he smiled at Summer when he realized she was awake. It was hot and hard to breathe under the covers and their bodies were sticking together, but even if you paid him he wouldn't move.

Summer mouthed a "_hi" _to him and Seth did the same, leaning in to kiss her nose. "Are you okay?"

"I'm better," she said. "But it's still hard…and I wouldn't be able to get through this without you."

Seth smiled. "Well, I'm not going anywhere, that's for sure," he assured her. Summer tried to scoot closer to him but it was impossible.

"Thank you so much," she said, placing kiss on his chest.

Seth nodded, kissing the top of her head. "I'd do anything for you."

Summer closed her eyes and fell back asleep in his arms. For now, she could block out the reality that her daddy was dead and she would have to bury him soon, saying good bye to him forever.


	7. Beauty in the Breakdown

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in awhile! It's been crazy. Thanks for reading, though, and please review :)**

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. **

* * *

_"I've been hoping and praying for a single way to show you what I'm all about."_

* * *

A sea of black painted the beach as Summer sat lifeless, listening to her step-mom lie about how she and Neil's marriage had been one from a fairytale. It definitely hadn't been, and Summer would be the first to tell you that. 

David squeezed Summer's knee when it was her turn to speak about her father and she smiled weakly at him before climbing the few stairs to the stage. Salty wind gusted through the air and Summer's hair flew into the gray sky.

"To a lot of people Neil Roberts was a plastic surgeon, a husband, a colleague, and a friend. But to me, he was a father," Summer began, her voice cracking.

She searched the audience and found Seth, who was smiling encouragingly at her. Caden was sitting on his lap, and he blew a kiss to his mommy. Summer smiled warmly at her baby. Both her babies.

"He worked a lot, but he always made time for me. I remember one night when we were in New York, we stayed up _all _night watching home movies and eating ice cream. And it didn't matter that he had to work the next day. He took off…because we hadn't spent time together in a long time…"

Summer trailed off, the memory becoming so real in her mind. She remembered it like it was yesterday.

_She couldn't get Seth or this baby out of her mind. Lightening cracked outside. She hated storms._

_There was a 3 hour difference between New York and California, so it was 12:45 back in her old home. She longed to be there so badly._

_Summer came down with a sudden urge, and quietly, she slipped out of her room and into her father's. The step- monster was away at some rehab place._

"_Daddy?" she asked, slipping under the covers. "Daddy," she repeated, shaking him. He turned over and opened his eyes. "Summer? Honey, what are you doing?" For one, she was scared of storms, but she was also scared for her future. It was times like these when a girl needed her daddy._

"_I just haven't seen you in awhile, and I don't like storms."_

_Her dad laughed and kissed her forehead. "When you were a little girl you would run in here and snuggle between your mom and me when it was storming."_

_Summer laughed._

"_Come on, how about we go downstairs and watch a movie and I'll make some popcorn?" he said. _

"_Don't you have to work today?" she asked._

"_Yeah, but I'll call in sick. We haven't spent time together in a very long time."_

_Summer smiled and hopped out of bed. _

"And he was a very supportive father, always encouraging me to speak my mind, follow my heart and my dreams..."

_Summer's pink too-too fluffed out from her sides as she looked out on the stage, waiting for her queue. Her brown thick hair was separated in two pig tails resting high on her head. _

_Summer turned to her dad, who was kneeling beside her, equaling her height, and she kissed his cheek. "If I mess up, will you run on stage and make a bigger scene so maybe nobody will notice me?"_

_Her dad laughed, nodding. "I will, but I bet you don't mess up. You're the best ballerina ever."_

_Summer giggled. "So if I wanted to move to New York City and be a famous dancer like Anna Pavlova, would you let me?"_

_Her dad kissed her tiny button nose. "You bet."_

"…he was there when I was going through my pregnancy…"

"_Summer, can you come down here please?" her father's voice reverberated through the house._

_Summer zipped down the stairs and saw her father on the couch, letter in hand. He was teary eyed, and she looked at her feet. She knew now what he wanted._

"_Come sit down" His tone was strict, but shaky. She'd never had her dad mad at her before. She slowly walked to the couch and sat down._

"_Summer, this is your senior year. Do you have any idea how hard it is? And now you throw a baby into the equation. You do realize you're going to have this baby at the very beginning of your second semester, don't you?"_

_Summer sighed and leaned back on the comfy cushions. "I know dad. I've thought everything through already."_

"_Were you thinking things through when you had sex and got pregnant?"_

_Summer bit her lip. She opened her mouth to speak but her dad did instead._

"_How could you be so irresponsible? You've messed up your entire future!"_

_Her father was yelling at this point, sounding angry yet disappointed at the same time._

_Tears welled in her eyes. "Dad, listen, I know I made a mistake. I realize that. But…but I really want to keep this baby."_

_Her dad closed his eyes momentarily and sighed. "You've got so much of your mother in you it's not even funny. We had you when she was 17, ya know?"_

_Summer didn't know, and she was surprised._

_Her father continued with his story. "And she was so stubborn. We had to keep you. From the moment she had her first ultrasound she knew that she was keeping you. So she did, and eventually we got married. Then she died and…Listen honey, I want you to realize what you're giving up. No senior trip, you may have to wait a year before college. But I've got conditions if you still want to keep this child. For one, you're finishing high school! And you're are going to college and your going to make something of your life."_

_Summer nodded at every bit he was saying._

"He was a great person, and he still lives in me, and in his grandson," Summer closed, wiping away some of the tears that had escaped her eyes.

It was an open casket and people started to line up, paying their last respects. Kirsten hugged Summer softly. "You're being so strong, sweetie. We're all here for you, though, in case you start to fall apart. And sweetie, it's okay to fall apart. It's natural…don't try to hold it in forever."

Summer sighed.

Kirsten squeezed her hand briefly. "Well, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I'm around," she said, hugging Summer once more before Caden came running.

"Hey my big boy," Summer said, kneeling down to his height. "Can you go find daddy for me?"

Caden nodded and ran off, his tiny ringlets bouncing around on his head.

Summer's body was shaking. Kirsten was right. She was trying so hard to not break down, but she needed to so badly, and only one person was going to see her do it.

Whitney Houston's voice softly filled the thick atmosphere and Summer fought back the urge to scream. She was too young to be saying goodbye to her dad.

_If I  
Should stay  
I would only be in your way  
So I'll go  
But I know  
I'll think of you every step of  
the way _

And I...  
Will always  
Love you, oohh  
Will always  
Love you  
You  
My darling you  
Mmm-mm

Bittersweet  
Memories  
That is all I'm taking with me  
So good-bye  
Please don't cry  
We both know I'm not what you  
You need

And I...  
Will always love you  
I...  
Will always love you  
You, ooh

_I hope  
life treats you kind  
And I hope  
you have all you've dreamed of  
And I wish you joy  
and happiness  
But above all this  
I wish you love _

And I...  
Will always love you  
I...  
Will always love you

I, I will always love  
You...  
You  
Darling I love you  
I'll always  
I'll always  
Love  
You..  
Oooh  
Ooohhh

Heavy tears built up in Summer's eyes and spilled over onto her cheeks, dampening her face. She started walking away, but Seth caught her by the arm.

He wrapped his arms around her shaking body. "Hold it in, baby. You've done good so far…just hold it in."

Summer buried her face into his neck as the tears spilled rapidly out of her eyes. Short breaths escaped between frequent hiccups.

Summer pulled herself free and wiped her mascara stricken face. "Damnit," she cursed, looking at the black streaks now on her fingers. "I knew I should have worn waterproof," she muttered hastily to herself.

Seth rubbed her arm softly. "Did you want Caden to stay with my parents tonight?"

Summer shook her head and pulled her compact out of her purse. "No," she whispered. "He can stay home. You and him are the only things keeping me sane right now," she said, fixing her hair a little.

Shyly, she glanced around at all of the people. "I should probably go mingle," she said, her tone full of dread. She smiled weakly at him before walking to a group of men and women who pulled her into tight embraces.

Seth looked around for his parents and spotted his mom with Caden. He smiled as he saw his son laughing quietly. He wondered if Caden even really knew what was going on.

Seth scooped Caden up when he finally reached his mom. "I think we're gonna head to the burial soon," Seth informed his mom. She nodded and looked around.

"How's Summer taking it?" Kirsten asked. "I tried talking to her earlier but she wouldn't open up to me…"

Seth nodded understandingly. "She builds up walls. One day they'll come crashing down."

* * *

It had been weeks since the death of Neil Roberts, and Summer was not the same. She put a happy front on, but Seth knew she cried at night. He could hear her from his bedroom. 

Sometimes he would sleep with her, wrapping his arms tightly around her. She would stop crying then.

Seth's thoughts subsided as a light knock clapped the wooden door. It was David; he and Summer had been on countless dates the past few weeks. Maybe he thought he was helping.

Summer smiled as she opened the door and accepted David's kiss. "Caden's asleep, and I gave him some more Tylenol," she informed Seth, grabbing her coat.

"Check his temperature in about an hour," she reminded him. Seth rolled his eyes. "I'm not the babysitter, Summer. I think I know what to do when my child gets sick."

Summer tilted her head, eyeing him, annoyed. "We'll be home later. Don't wait up."

Seth mumbled a "don't worry, I won't," as Summer shut the door behind her and David.

* * *

Summer placed the delicate white napkin in her lap and smoothed the crinkles out of it. David sat across from her, his eyes transfixed on her. Summer smiled shyly. "Why are you staring at me?" 

David never broke his gaze as he spoke to her. "We've been dating for a little over a year now," he said, "and you've made me so happy."

Summer looked down at her lap. She was flattered.

"Summer," David whispered. "Will you marry me?"

Summer's eyes swelled. The room was starting to spin. Was David really kneeling in front of her? Summer's hand flew to her mouth.

She had no idea what to say. Sure, her feelings for Seth had definitely started to resurface, but was it unrealistic for her to think it was going somewhere? Besides, David loved her. He loved Caden, too.

"Yes."


	8. Starts With Goodbye

**A/N: Thanks so, so much for all the great reviews for the last chapter! I didn't really expect that response :) Anyways, please let me know what you think of this (cheesy) chapter! **

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. **

* * *

_I guess it's gonna have to hurt,  
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,  
And let go of some things I've loved,  
To get to the other side,  
I guess it's gonna break me down,  
Like falling when you try to fly,  
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,  
Starts with goodbye  
--Starts With Goodbye (Carrie Underwood)_

* * *

She was impulsive. So impulsive that there was now a four-carat heart shaped diamond ring on her finger.

The ride to David's parents' house was quiet. He kept talking about where the wedding should be and Summer kept thinking about what Cohen was going to say. It was totally backwards. Shouldn't _she_ be talking about weddings plans?

Summer stared at the shiny pink diamond on her tiny finger. It should have been Seth to first propose, shouldn't it? They had a _baby_ together. They _lived_ together. They still had feelings for each other.

'_So why am I engaged?' _Summer asked herself, inside her head of course. Even if she would have said it aloud, though, David wouldn't have noticed. He was too busy talking about The Plaza and the number of guests it could hold.

Cold rain beat down outside and fog was in the distance. It was cold for Newport. Was that a sign? It was never cold in Newport. If the temperature dropped to 70 degrees people fell apart. It had to at least be 50 now.

When they finally arrived at the mansion, David took Summer's hand. The rest of the evening was kind of a blur. Summer and Evelyn, David's mom, sipped wine while looking at vintage wedding gowns and discussing which kinds of flowers to have.

David and Craig, David's dad, discussed where the best place to have a honeymoon would be. Paris or Italy? Neither asked where Summer wanted to have it, although Paris sounded nice.

Honeymoon. Summer gulped down the rest of her wine at the thought. She would have to give herself to another man. She'd never been with anyone other than Seth.

But once she said "I Do," to David, she would have to have sex with him. There was no way around that.

Summer smiled at Evelyn and agreed to red roses. If only she were having this conversation with Kirsten.

But this was for the best. She needed a secure relationship, so that Caden could grow up in a stable environment and not in a broken home. She would do anything for her son, even if that meant sacrificing love.

* * *

Seth stared at Summer's hand and then back at her face. David was beside her, smiling with pleasure. 

This could _so_ not be happening.

"Summer," Seth finally managed to choke out. "Can I see you in the kitchen?"

Summer shook her head. "Anything you have to say to me you can say to David."

Seth ran his hands through his messy curls. What was the world coming to? Summer and David? Seth didn't even know they were that serious.

"Uh…okay…I don't…I don't think you guys should do this…get married, I mean."

Summer bit her lip. She acted like she was shocked that he said it, but she wasn't. She actually expected him to be more upset.

"Excuse us," Summer said, dragging Seth to the kitchen with her, abandoning David in the living room.

Summer leaned against the counter once they were both in the kitchen. "This is just great, Cohen. We come here, hoping to get your blessing, and you act like this?" Summer asked, searching his eyes.

Seth pretended to laugh. "Bullshit. You knew I would be upset! Don't even act like you thought I would give you my 'blessing'," he said, making air quotations with his fingers.

Summer glared at him. "God, sometimes I don't understand you. Why, Cohen? Why can't you just be happy for me?"

Seth sighed. "Because Summer! I'm in love with you, okay? And I know we're not allowed to say that to each other, but I don't care because I am head-over hills, totally clichéd in. love. with. you!"

His voice quivered at the words he hadn't said to her in so long. "Please Summer. I'm begging you to not marry him."

Summer backed away from Seth slowly. The words he was saying were tough to chew, much less swallow.

"Wow, blunt much?" Summer asked, a tone in her voice, but Seth still looked pleadingly at her. "Fine, Cohen. I love you to. But David wants to take care of me, and he loves me to," she explained, trying to sound casual. She looked down at the floor in avoidance of his eyes.

"Not as much as I do Summer. No one can ever love you more than me. I want to wake up next to your painfully beautiful face every morning. I want you to sleep in my shirts like you did back in high school. I want to watch you put on your make-up every morning, even though you are so much more beautiful without it," Seth defended himself, and Summer felt her insides turn to mush. She was melting.

Summer opened her mouth to speak but Seth continued to spill his heart to her.

"I'm not anything you need," he admitted. "But you're everything I want. Maybe that's selfish, but you know that you want me to. Please, Summer. _Please_," he begged.

Summer's face was drenched in tears and her cheeks were raw from the moisture. "You can't have everything you want Cohen. You don't always get the picket fence with the big backyard, the love of your life standing next to you, watching your kids play outside. But you get close. I'm gonna get that big backyard. I'll be giving up a lot, but that's part of being a parent."

Seth gave her a confused look. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that being a parent meant giving up a loving relationship," he responded sarcastically.

Summer rolled her eyes. "What relationship? We've been broken up for like a year now!"

"So the night your dad died…that meant absolutely nothing to you? Because it meant some things to me…" Seth said, and Summer's expression softened.

"Please don't do this, Cohen. You're making this so much harder than it has to be." Summer wiped the tears from her face. "I'm going to marry him, okay?"

Seth shook his head in disapproval. "How am I going to live without you? Without this nose?" he asked, touching his lips to it lightly. "Without these freckles?" he asked, kissing each one. "Without your good heart?" he asked, placing his hand over her heart. Seth hugged her waist tightly as he dropped to his knees.

He was groveling, but if it was going to get her to realize how much she meant to him, he would plead with her all night.

"Please, baby. I'm not asking you to marry me. I'm just asking you to be with me."

Summer couldn't see clearly through her tears. This was not supposed to get so intense. He was not supposed to care about her this much. She was not supposed to care that he cared this much about her.

Life would be so much simpler.

Summer fingered his dark curls as he wrapped his arms tighter around her waist. She was so lost. Marrying David was what was best for Caden. But her heart wasn't with David.

Summer inhaled sharply, prying Seth's hands off of her. She couldn't be selfish. Yeah, she wanted Seth. But they never worked, and they couldn't keep messing around with their lives.

Summer didn't bother to explain it to Seth anymore. She just lightly kissed her hand and pressed it against Seth's forehead before leaving the kitchen.

Seth saw Summer kiss David goodnight through the doorway and he felt the knife in his heart twist a little more.

Sill sitting in the floor, Seth leaned against the counter. The next thing he knew, Caden was shaking him softly.

"Daddy?" the little boy asked.

Seth opened his eyes and looked around the kitchen. What time was it?

"I want my bobo," Caden whined, and Seth smiled at Caden's nickname for his sippy cup.

Seth stood up and walked to the fridge, opening it and letting the cold air slip into the room. He reached for the sippy cup full of chocolate milk and handed it the little boy, who smiled gratefully and swigged the rich liquid.

Seth scooped Caden up and headed into the living room, crashing down on the couch with him. Yawning, Seth checked the clock that informed him it was 12:43.

"You feel better, buddy?" Seth asked, bringing his hand to Caden's tiny forehead. He shrugged his shoulders and continued to drink his drink.

"I'm sleepy daddy," he yawned, leaning his head back against Seth's shoulder.

Seth smiled as Caden closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Closing his eyes, Seth mumbled, "Me to."


	9. Stand By Me

**A/N: Thank you again for all the great reviews! Sorry this chapter took so long, for all the typos I'm sure there are, and sorry it's so super-rushed. Please let me know what you think ;)  
****  
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. **

* * *

_I won't cry, I won't cry. No I won't shed a tear, just as long as you stand, stand by me.  
--Stand By Me Oasis_

* * *

He could hear her. She was in the bathroom, first blow drying her hair, then making more noise than she probably realized as she opened and closed the drawers in the bathroom. 

Seth imagined her sweeping her hair up into a bun with loose brown curls hanging down, her make-up perfectly applied. She never needed it, although when he told her that she made a kind of "pshh" sound.

Seth rolled over onto his back and examined the smooth ceiling above his head. It was early; so early that the sun hadn't even peaked over the water yet. There was no beautiful pink and orange in the sky, either.

It was just black. Blah. Boring. Empty. '_Kind of like my heart_,' Seth thought to himself.

He finally heard her rustling around in her closet. Her room was just next to his. The night before, he had heard Caden go into her room, never coming back out. That was normal though. No matter how hard they fought him, he was too stubborn, too much like his parents, to go back to his "big boy bed."

* * *

Summer weaved the brush through her hair one last time before pulling out her mascara, threading the black wand through her eyelashes once again before venturing into her room, into her closet.

Deciding on jeans, Summer slipped them on, followed by a navy blue, figure-fitting shirt. Summer looked in the mirror, groaning inwardly. She hadn't slept the whole night, no thanks to Seth Cohen. He just had to say the perfect things, the things that kept replaying in her mind over and over, never stopping, and driving her completely insane.

After contemplating whether or not more make-up was needed to cover the hideous bags under her eyes, and deciding to not bother with it, Summer hurried down the hallway, pulling a pair of khaki's and a polo shirt out of Caden's closet.

She rushed back to her room, lightly shaking the little boy snuggled under the covers. "Baby, mommy has to go to school. Get up so you can get dressed and go to day care," she whispered.

After minutes of no response, Summer sat him up, much to his dismay, and pulled his pajama's off, replacing them with the clothes she'd picked out. He yawned grumpily.

No more than 10 minutes later, she was out the door, pulling out of the driveway and speeding to Caden's daycare. It was always hard dropping him off in the mornings.

Walking him inside, Summer smiled at the woman who ran the place. Summer squatted down to Caden's eye level and kissed his cheek. "I'll be back this afternoon," she explained softly, briefly.

Summer waved "bye" to him once she reached the door, blocking out his screams and sobs. He definitely had separation anxiety.

* * *

Seth watched Summer and Caden leave from his bedroom window, the sun finally peaking into the sky, then quickly pulled some clothes on and left for school. There was one good thing about college: he never saw Summer.

If they were going out, it would be a bad thing. But considering the current events, he was glad he wouldn't have to see her.

Seth sighed. He had poured his heart out to her, everything in it and everything that made him, and she had rejected it. She had rejected _him_. She had decided to actually marry David. Summer Roberts, love of his life, was marrying David, and in three weeks.

The last bit of information Seth had earned due to his 'wolf' like ears. She had been on the phone with David the previous night, talking about wedding plans. He wanted to get married soon. She didn't disagree, obviously.

Was she that eager to get away from him?

Seth's pants vibrated impatiently and he retrieved his cell phone from his pocket, opening it quickly. "Hey Olivia," he said.

Her cheery voice instantly made Seth smile. She was always happy. She was never not happy. That's why he liked her, long story short. On the bad days, she made them good. Summer used to do that for him.

"I was thinking, which I know is something I probably shouldn't ever do. But there's this concert tonight, so if you're not busy, I have tickets," she explained, and Seth could imagine how red her cheeks were.

They had been dating for like, ever, and still, she managed to get all pink and flustered when she was the one asking him out on a date.

"Sure, sweetie. That sounds great."

They talked for a few more minutes about irrelevant things and finally Seth wrapped up the conversation as he reached UCLA.

* * *

Summer heaved her lunch into the toilet, holding her hair back as the acidic liquid emptied her body. Caden stood in the doorway of the bathroom, looking pathetically at his mother.

He walked over to her and patted her back like she had done for him when he was sick. "I'm sorry I gots you sick mommy."

Summer smiled at Caden. "It's not your fault," she said, flushing the toilet and then rinsing her mouth out with water. "Why don't you go watch a movie with daddy while mommy takes a shower," she proposed, and Caden nodded his approval at the idea, leaving the bathroom.

Summer opened the cabinet doors and pulled out the rectangle box. _98 Accurate_ it read. Sitting down, Summer leaned against the wall of the bathroom. Three years ago, she had been doing the exact same thing. Only then, she was a teenager.

Deciding that she couldn't do this without Seth, Summer set the box down and walked slowly down the stairs. Seth and Caden were nestled on the couch, watching cartoons, laughing occasionally.

"Uh, Cohen, can I see you upstairs for a few minutes?"

He could tell she was worried, and confused, he agreed, following her up the stairs, leaving Caden to watch T.V.

Summer grabbed his hand and pulled him into the bathroom, unaware of how she was going to tell him this. He hated her right now. Heck, she hated herself for doing what she did to him.

But they were in a crisis. If she was pregnant, her future with David was ruined. _Their _futures were ruined.

Summer decided the box would explain itself, so she picked it up and held it in front of his face. Summer could see the color draining from his face. "You're…your uh…your pregnant?"

Summer bit her lip. "I don't know. I haven't taken it yet…and I'm kind of scared to."

Seth nodded. "So…is it mine…or David's?" he asked, and the idea of it possibly being David's made Seth's mouth sour.

Summer rolled her eyes. "It would be yours, idiot. I've never slept with David."

"Really?"

Summer hit him on the arm. "Yes, really! I won't sleep with just anyone, not that you're someone special, so don't go getting all conceited."

"I don't think you need to take the test. Your bitch-mode, mood swingy self tells me everything," Seth said, rubbing the sore spot on his arm.

Summer narrowed her eyes, glaring at him. "Don't jinx it! I am soo not pregnant," she told herself, as if trying to "un-jinx" what Seth said.

Rolling his eyes, Seth grabbed the box and opened it, pulling the contents out. "I'm gonna wait in the hall. You take the test. Then come out here, and we'll wait for the results together."

Summer cocked her head. "Okay, bossy. Now leave," she demanded, pushing him out the door and locking it behind him.

Seth stared blankly at the wall. Wow. Pregnant? A part of Seth liked the idea. Caden was the most important person inhis life, along with Summer, and another baby would be great, to an extent. But it would end his relationship with Olivia, and it would end Summer's relationship with David.

Seth knocked on the bathroom door. "How long does it take to pee on a stick, Summer?" he asked impatiently.

"IN A MINUTE!" Summer screamed from the other side of the door, and Seth backed away from it.

Finally, Summer emerged from the bathroom, and she stared whole-heartedly at Seth. "What have we gotten ourselves into?" she asked, sitting down beside him.

"You're the one who wanted to have sex," Seth said, and Summer elbowed him. He laughed, and she smiled. "In about," Summer began, looking at her watch. "…two minutes, our whole lives could be completely changed," she examined, and Seth sighed.

"It's amazing how much urine on a stick can tell you," he joked, and Summer smiled.

"I promise I'll never have sex with you again," Summer said, sticking out her pinky finger for Seth to wrap his around. He did, and said "except for that hot affair we have four times a year."

Summer laughed, and then asked "Why four times a year?"

"Well," he said, holding four fingers up, taking one down every time he named a day. "My birthday, your birthday, Valentine's day, and a free day when we're both completely bored."

Summer giggled. "Sounds good," she said, completely at ease. He was making the wait not seem so tension-able.

The timer on Summer's watch chimed loudly, annoyingly, and they exchanged scared looks. "Here it goes," Summer said, picking up the stick.


	10. Overdrive

**A/N: Again, lovely reviews and thank you so much for leaving them! I had planned on having this chapter up yesterday, which obviously didn't happen. Anyways, thanks for reading and please drop me a review! **

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.

* * *

_My minds all screwed and upside down, but my heart's on overdrive.  
--Katy Rose (Overdrive)_

* * *

A pang of disappointment coursed throughout Summer's body. "It's negative," she said, showing the test to Seth. "But I was sick…and skipping periods..." She didn't understand why she was having the symptoms, but quickly dismissed that part. She had better things to figure out, which was why she was upset. A negative pregnancy test should have had her floating on clouds. 

But it didn't. Not really, anyways. She could see the disappointment in Seth's eyes and she swung her hip to bump his. He half-smiled at her and tried to act as if he was happy with the results, when she could tell he was anything but. "Well…I can finally…uh, breathe now," he said, and Summer sighed. "Yeah."

Seth could tell they were both feeling the same way, and he took the test from Summer's hands and tossed it in the trash can. "This is probably for the best, considering your wedding in, count them, three weeks," Seth said, and Summer nodded.

"Yeah, this is totally for the best. Speaking of which, can you watch Caden tonight while Marissa and I go dress hunting?"

Seth looked at the ground. He couldn't help but want that pregnancy test to be positive, and he didn't want to change the subject so casually. "Did you want it to be positive?" Seth blurted out, and Summer's eyes grew.

"What?" she asked, raising her eyebrow. Seth rolled his eyes. "I didn't stutter. Did you want the test to be positive?"

Summer sighed and leaned against the wall of the bathroom, staring off into the distance of the tiny room. "A part of me wanted it to be, yeah. But like you said, it being negative is for the best. I'm about to get married, you're dating someone. A baby would really scramble everything, y'know?"

Seth nodded, still not agreeing with Summer but finally willing to let it go. "I can't watch Caden tonight," he jumped topics quickly, and Summer stared at him confusingly. "Why?"

Seth opened the bathroom door. "Like you said, I'm dating someone, and I have a date with that someone tonight," he explained, exiting the bathroom and retreating down the hall.

Summer followed him, confused. "You can't take him with you?"

Seth eyed her. "Are you crazy? I'm not taking my three year old son to a concert. He'll drive me nuts. Besides, taking the kid along definitely means I won't be getting any tonight," he said, even though he knew he wouldn't be "getting any" regardless.

Summer raised her hand to hit his arm, but Seth grabbed it quickly, which further fueled her anger. "Seth, I have to pick out a dress, and I only have three weeks. Can't you and Olivia go out some other time?"

Seth pulled two shirts out of the closet and held them in front of Summer. "Stripes or dots?"

Summer sighed; irritated that he hadn't answered her question. "Cohen, _pulease_!" she begged, sticking out her bottom lip. Seth laughed. "That's not going to work on me."

Summer bit her lip. "It used to," she observed, and Seth, annoyed, shook the shirts that were in front of Summer's face. "Stripes or dots?" he asked again.

Summer glared at him. "Fine!" she hollered. "I'll take him with me," she said, stomping toward his door, slamming it once she was in the hall.

Seth, bothered, yelled "STRIPES OR DOTS?"

* * *

Caden tugged lightly on the white gown Summer had on, and she quickly removed his hand. "No touch," she reminded him, and he pulled his hand out of hers. 

"So, what do you think?" Summer asked, spinning around for Marissa, who tilted her head, unsure. "I don't like the neckline on you. It makes you look fat," Marissa said, and Summer huffed. "Well thanks a lot," she said, stepping back into the dressing room.

Caden padded his way over to Marissa, climbing up into her lap. "Aunt Rissa, I'm hungry," he complained adorably, and Marissa pulled some crackers out of her purse. "We'll get you some real food when we leave," she explained to him as he tore open the package of crackers.

Minutes later, Summer came out of the dressing room, layered in fabrics. The bottom layer was aqua, but was faded out by the three layers of white lace and satin that lay above it. Tiny aqua sequins lined the strapless top and sparkled brightly back at Marissa.

Marissa, in awe, gasped. "That's the dress," she said, and Summer smiled, pleased she'd finally found one. "You think?" she questioned, and Marissa nodded. "You look so beautiful, Sum."

Summer swirled around. "I love the back of it," she said, and Marissa agreed. "It reminds me of my cotillion dress," Marissa said. The back had strands of sparkly fabric coming down and spilling over Summer's legs. The train was about two feet, and the veil went down to Summer's lower back.

Summer smiled giddily at her best friend. Her wedding was vastly approaching, and Summer was having mixed emotions. She was happy that her life was finally starting to take off, that she had found the dress, and, to her surprise, planning the wedding was a lot of fun. But she was scared, too, because she didn't want to actually _get _married. Not to the man she was marrying, anyways.

Summer brushed away the thoughts and looked at herself once more in the mirror before stepping back into the dressing room.

* * *

"That was officially," Olivia said, licking her ice cream cone, "…the worst concert ever!" 

Seth laughed and took a drink of his shake. "It definitely wasn't exciting," he recalled. Olivia clamped the sand with her toes and then released the grains, letting them fall back into the thousands they were recently with.

"I'm sorry I drug you there," she said, and Seth shook his head. "I didn't go for the concert anyways," he said, and Olivia smiled. "I had to go get one of their awesome shirts. I added to my collection of vintage shirts," he finished.

Olivia elbowed him, laughing. "So how's school going?" she asked him as the mood shifted. "Boring," he replied vaguely as the two finally reached the parking lot.

He opened the door for Olivia, who smiled warmly, and then he jogged to the driver's side, opening the door and sliding in. He was about to start the car when Olivia's hand covered his.

Her usually innocent eyes were now sultry and Seth swallowed, hard. She leaned in slowly, closing her eyes, and Seth did the same, their lips finally meeting. It was slow and gentle but soon turned more heated as their tongues intertwined with one another.

Seth pulled back, gasping, and said "Wait. I don't think we should…do this," he said, and Olivia bit her lip. "Seth, we don't have to have sex. There are…other…things," she said, her cheeks turning a slight red.

She climbed into the backseat and looked expectantly at Seth.

At that moment, Seth realized that he had been waiting, just hoping that maybe he and Summer would somehow salvage their relationship, and the realization that that was never going to happen made him climb into the backseat with Olivia. He wasn't cheating on Summer. She was getting married, and he was moving on.

* * *

Even though she hated her step-mom more than just about anything, Summer knew she was hurting still from the loss of her husband, so checking up on her had become a part of Summer's weekly routine. 

So there she stood at 9 o'clock, dress in hand and Marissa in tow as she walked into the dark, lifeless mansion. She saw the familiar outline of her step-mom passed out on the couch, and like she always did, Summer went to the bathroom to get a wet washcloth.

Walking over to her, she placed the cloth over her forehead and started grabbing the bottles of medications and alcohol. There was no telling how long she'd been laying there. It could have quite possibly been since the last time Summer had been there.

But she was alive, her chest rising up and down steadily as she slept. Shaking her lightly, the aging woman woke up, glancing around the darkened living room. "Summer?" she asked groggily.

Summer smiled at her step-mom. "I got my dress today. Do you want to see it?"

Summer glanced over at Marissa, who was bringing the dress over. Taking it from her, Summer held the dress in front of her body. Her step-mom smiled, sitting up a little on the couch.

"Your dad would be so proud, Summer," she said, looking at the dress intently. Summer nodded. "I know. And right now, he would be worried sick about you. Are you sure you're okay here by yourself?"

She waved her fragile hand in the air. "I'm just fine," she said. "Don't even ask me if I want someone here all the time, because again, my answer will be no."

Summer sighed. "Okay," she said, handing the dress back to Marissa. "I guess we're going to go then. It's getting past Caden's bed time," she said, and her step-mom nodded understandingly.

Summer picked Caden up from the floor, waving to her step-mother before walking to the door. She looked back at her once more, her body already laying back on the couch.

She was wasting away, literally, and Summer knew that one day, she would come in and not see her chest rising in breaths. Closing the door, Summer skipped down the front steps and to her car.

* * *

Summer hung the dress on her closet door, occasionally running her fingers over the fabric. It was a beautiful dress. Sitting on her bed, she looked at the alarm clock. 

12:00 a.m.

Seth still wasn't home. She was worried about him. She was worried about her step-mother. She was worried about her wedding. She was worried about her future…her married one.

Summer lied down, her head softly hitting the pillows. Life was a mess.


	11. Young & Beautiful

**A/N: Sorry for not having this chapter up sooner! It's been awhile. Thanks for the great reviews for my last chapter, and thanks for reading! **

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.**

* * *

_While we're young and beautiful,  
We'll party down on Main street,  
Wearing next to nothing,  
Feeling every heart beat,  
Having fun, while we're still young and beautiful._  
_--Carrie Underwood (We're Young & Beautiful)_

* * *

Summer slid the tiny black dress onto her body and quickly slipped on her hot pink stilettos. She examined herself in the mirror. Her earrings hung low and her hair was swept up, a few curly strands falling down. "Man, I look hot," she said to herself.

The dress was cut half-way above the knee, showing off her perfectly tanned and smooth legs. Grabbing her purse, Summer strutted downstairs, fully prepared for a killer hangover the following morning, because this was the night of her bachelorette party and she planned to party.

Seth's eyes widened in response to Summer's outfit. Summer snickered. "I can see you drooling, Cohen." Seth rolled his eyes. "Someone's conceited. If you must know, I was salivating over the delicious steak I'm going to be enjoying tonight."

Summer cocked her eyebrow. "Your steak? Since when do you eat steak, Cohen?"

He made a kind of "pshh" sound. "All the time," he responded. "I even bought beer. Ryan's coming over. We're having boy's night while you're out getting drunk off your ass," he said.

Summer was about to reply when the doorbell sang sharply through the house. "Have fun eating your steak," she said, rushing to the door. "Don't wait up," she yelled.

* * *

Seth threw a bottle of beer at Ryan, who caught it in his hand. Caden was nestled comfortably on the couch, sipping his apple juice and coloring a picture.

Seth plopped beside Caden, cutting up his steak with a knife. "I've never really cooked steak before," Seth said, looking over at Ryan who was already eating a piece.

"It's…interesting," Ryan said, swallowing the meat hard. "Kind of overcooked," he examined. Seth rolled his eyes. "Well some of us don't like the blood practically running out of it."

Ryan took a swig of his beer. "Whatever," he said. "So how are you and Summer doing?"

Seth shrugged his shoulders. "We're friends," he responded, drinking his beer. Ryan looked quizzically at his friend. "I'm sorry, but didn't she think she was pregnant? It sounds like you guys are more than just friends to me."

Seth looked over at Caden, who thankfully was completely engrossed in the picture he was coloring. "Her dad had died. She needed some comforting. That's how it happened, she isn't pregnant, and so that's all in the past."

Ryan sighed. "How are you and Olivia, then?"

Seth shoved a piece of steak in his mouth. "We're getting more serious. We had s-e-x," he said, spelling it out so that Caden wouldn't repeat the phrase to Summer.

Ryan raised his eyebrows. "Really? How was that?"

Seth looked down at his food, then to his beer which he gulped down. "It was different," he responded. "I understand why people say it's better if you really care about the person you're with."

Ryan nodded. "So are you going to break it off, or what?"

Seth threw his head back. "Since when did you talk so much? I'm supposed to be the one that asks a million questions."

"Sorry, man. We just haven't talked in awhile."

Seth nodded. "I think I am going to break it off. It's to different now. I don't care about her as much as I should. I'm just wasting her time. She could be with someone who wants to spend their life with her right now. That person is definitely not me, though."

* * *

Summer, Marissa, a few friends from UCLA –Bailey, Rene, and Kendra- sat in the wooden stools near the bar, each ordering their own drinks. "Sex on the Beach," Summer requested, smiling flirtatiously at the bartender.

After they all had their drinks, they went to a table in the back, filing around it. Bailey, a red-haired girl who Summer had become close to, slid a pink bag across the table, waiting like a little girl for Summer to open it.

Summer giggled and pulled a card out of the bag. She ripped the envelope off and read aloud. "_This is for all of the hot sex that awaits you. Have fun!_"

Summer dipped her hand into the bag and pulled out a set of slinky black lingerie, laughing as the other girls did. Inside, she felt like her stomach was going to fall out of her butt. She really did not want to have sex with David. 'Maybe we can have a sexless marriage' Summer thought to herself while thanking Bailey for the gift.

After opening the rest of the presents, which were all some sort of lingerie, Summer was feeling tipsy, having finished off her third drink of the night. As the girls walked outside, the chilly wind whipped through the air and Summer rubbed her arms with her hands.

They got into the stretch Hummer and sped off to the nearest club, ready to enjoy the rest of the night.

* * *

"This is the lamest movie I've ever seen," Ryan complained as the Disney movie High School Musical played on the T.V. Seth nodded, agreeing. "Yeah, well Caden is going to bed soon and we can watch something else," he said, looking at Caden who was absorbed in the film.

After suffering through ten more minutes of the movie, Seth said "Ok, buddy. It's time for bed." Seth lifted Caden to his feet. "But daddy," he whined, giving Seth his puppy-dog eyes, which he had inherited from his mother. "It's almost over," he said.

Seth shook his head. "Your mom is going to kill me for letting you stay up _this_ late," he informed Caden, who was sighed angrily. Seth picked the boy up and went upstairs with him.

A few minutes later, Seth came downstairs and plopped down beside Ryan, pushing play so that Die Hard would start. Ryan was silent for a minute, then asked "So what's the whole Caden arrangement?" he asked, looking over at Seth.

He shrugged. "We haven't even talked about it…" he said, trailing off. "I really don't know. I'm staying here, and Caden's stuff is already here. But Summer would never leave him here. I guess we'll have to think of something," he said.

Ryan nodded. "But isn't that hard, not being able to be with him everyday?"

Seth looked around the house, thinking about how different it would be when Summer and Caden left. It would be so quiet, so empty, and so lifeless. He would be alone.

"It's weird…being a parent," Seth stated, looking down at his feet. "It's amazing how much you can love something, or someone. And even when you're going to miss them, you want what's best for them. Summer is such a great mom...she's a lot better at this parent stuff than I am," he said.

Ryan shook his head. "I think you're both great with him."

"Maybe," he said, looking at Ryan. "But it's probably best he go with her. As long as he doesn't start calling that David guy dad, I'm fine with him being over there."

"Summer would never let Caden call David dad. You know that."

Seth sighed. "Whatever, man. I'm starting to sound like I'm in a Hallmark movie."

* * *

Loud music pounded the bar and strobe lights glimmered everywhere. Summer, Marissa, Rene, Bailey and Kendra danced wildly on the dance floor. All of the people in the confined area were making it so hot, Summer felt like she was going to puke.

But she kept dancing until the song was over. A few guys had asked her to dance, but she just waved her hand in front of their face. Once they saw her engagement ring, they backed away.

Finally, Summer exited the dance floor, shoving past couples that were practically raping each other and climbed up on a bar stool, ordering some more drinks.

This was definitely not an ordinary bachelorette party. But she didn't want a cute little cocktail party with strippers. She wanted to go clubbing and get drunk. Were you supposed to get drunk during your bachelorette party? She wasn't sure.

"Hey Suuuummer!" Marissa exclaimed, walking up beside her best friend. "We miss you on the dance floor," she explained, taking a sip of Summer's drink.

"You're so drunk!" Summer said, giggling. Marissa smiled. "As are you, my friend. Now come on!" she said, tugging her best friend back onto the dance floor.

* * *

The limo stopped outside of her house and Summer piled out, walking up the front steps. She stopped when the sudden urge to throw up came over her and she puked right there, in front of the front door.

Groaning, Summer dug through her clutch for her key, jammed it into the lock, and pushed the door open, stepping over her own throw up as she entered the dark house.

The T.V. was on and Summer saw Seth asleep on the couch. She smiled. He was probably waiting for her to get home.

She threw her clutch on the floor and walked to the stairs. She looked up them, and then shook her head. "I am not doing those," she slurred to herself a little too loudly.

Seth's eyes opened and he saw Summer standing in front of the stairs, swaying a little. He looked at the clock.

2:46

"Hey, Sum," he said, rising from the couch. She turned her head and smiled brightly. "Seeeth! I hope I didn't wake you up," she said, walking toward him.

He laughed. She was so funny when she was drunk. "It's okay…I was waiting for you to get home," he explained.

"Awwwwwwwww," Summer said, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I think I might be drunk," she said, giggling at herself. Seth smiled. "Maybe just a little," he said.

"You smell like fabric softener," Summer said. Seth raised his eyebrows. "Oh yeah? Well, you smell like a million different kinds of alcohol."

Summer laughed. "Well, we did go to a loooot of bars…"

Seth smiled and walked Summer over to the couch. She lay down and he took her shoes off, grabbing a blanket and covering her with it. She immediately closed her eyes and sighed.

"I love you, Cohen."

"I love you to, Sum."

Summer shook her head. "No…I _really_ love you. I'm only marrying David because you and I can't ever seem to make it work…"

Seth sighed. "I really love you to. Now, go to sleep."

She nodded and turned on her side, facing the cushions. He smiled at her confession, but then he frowned because he knew she would never remember in the morning.

Letting it go, Seth kissed her cheek. "Goodnight, Summer."


	12. This Is Your Life

**A/N: This story is starting to wrap up. I think I have 3 or 4 more chapters left to add. Just thought I would let you guys know that. Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter, and thanks tons for reading so far into the story :) Review please.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.**

* * *

_"This is your life, are you who you want to be?  
This is your life, are you who you want to be?  
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?"  
Switchfoot (This Is Your Life)_

* * *

Summer moaned in agony as the sunlight invaded her eyes and added to the migraine her body was currently hosting. She pulled the blanket over her head and tried to shield it, pressing her face into the cushions. 

She yelped when a plastic bottle hit her head. Tearing the covers away from her face, she glared at Seth.

"If you only knew how bad that just hurt me…" she threatened, squinting as her eyes adjusted.

"Yeah right; you're too hung over right now to even stand up. What would you do to me?" Seth asked, handing her a glass of water.

Summer pretended to laugh. "Just you wait," she said. "Pay back is a bitch."

Seth smirked. "Somehow, I think I'll survive."

Summer threw her head back against the cushions, the sudden movement adding to the pounding. "I'm dying," she whined, groaning.

Seth laughed. "That's what you get for drinking so much."

Summer glared again. "Shut up! It's not like you've never been drunk before."

"Um, not nearly as bad as you. In fact, I never get as drunk as you. Once you start drinking, you're in it until you pass out…or start spilling secrets."

Summer's mouth fell open. "Oh God; what all did I say last night?"

Seth smiled. "Wouldn't you love to know?"

Summer hit his arm. "Come on, tell me! I said it—I have the right to know!"

Seth rolled his eyes. "Whatever…you really didn't say anything important," he said, walking into the kitchen.

Summer slowly stood up, walking into the kitchen as fast as she could. The smell of cream cheese hit her nose and her stomach did flips. Summer's hand clapped to her mouth in an attempt to stop the throw up, but instead, she just got a hand coated with puke.

And the smell and thought of it on her hand made her puke more, now not even attempting to cover her mouth but letting it spill onto the kitchen floor.

A tear slipped out of her eye. Her throat was burning and her hair had throw up in it, and she wanted nothing more than to soak in a hot bath.

Seth cringed at the site and smell of Summer's stomach contents on the floor. "God, Summer. Can you not make it to the bathroom?"

When he saw how miserable she looked, he smiled a little. She looked so pathetic. "I'll tell you what," he started. "Go take a very long, very hot bath with lots and lots of soap, and I'll clean this up."

Summer looked up at him and smiled weakly. "Thank you," she said. She walked back through the living room and stopped when she reached the foot of the stairs.

"Seth," she called. When she saw his head pop out of the kitchen doorway, she darted her eyes to the stairs, then back at him. His mouth fell open.

"Sum, you smell like throw up. Do I really have to…?" He stopped talking when she got all teary eyed.

Sighing at how whipped he was, Seth trudged to Summer. She giggled a little when he scooped her up. Leaning her head on his chest, she breathed in his Cohen-y smell.

Summer kissed him on the cheek when they finally reached the top. "Thanks Cohen."

Summer closed the bathroom door and Seth could hear the water start running. He sighed. She didn't remember telling him that she loved him. Hell, she probably couldn't even remember her own name.

Seth walked down the hall and cracked Caden's door open slightly. His brown curly hair was splayed all over his pillow and his hand was thrown over his face, probably shutting out the sunlight.

Summer _always_ did that.

Seth shut the door back quietly, retreating down the stairs to clean up Summer's mess.

* * *

Summer swallowed two more Aspirins and washed them down with water. She looked at herself in the mirror. She had applied a little makeup and scrunched her hair, knowing the noise from her hairdryer would further fuel were headache. 

The bath had definitely helped, as did the medication she'd taken before getting in the bath.

She walked down the hall to her bedroom and put on a pair of jeans and a UCLA shirt, then a pair of flip flops. God, she _so _did not feel like running errands.

Walking down the stairs, Summer saw Seth sitting on the couch. She sat beside him, leaning her head against his shoulder. "Next time I have the urge to drink, kill me before hand," she said.

Seth laughed. He tore off a piece of his bagel and offered it to Summer, but she turned her head away. "Oh God, please watch what you put in front of my nose. The smell is making me nauseous."

Seth backed away a little. "Please do not throw up again. You owe me big for cleaning up that stuff in the kitchen."

Summer tilted her head. "My bad—I thought you did that out of the goodness of your heart."

Seth rolled his eyes. "Yeah right; I did it with the knowledge of knowing that if I didn't, it would stay there forever."

Summer made a face at the thought. "Anyways, is Caden up yet?"

Seth wrinkled his forehead. "Yes, Summer. I left my three year old son alone in the kitchen to eat."

Summer sighed. "I'll be right back then. Your mom wants to spend the day with him so I'll just drop him off before I run my errands."

Seth nodded his approval and turned his attention back to the T.V.

Summer kissed his cheek. "Thanks again."

* * *

Summer opened the back door to her car, unbuckling Caden from his booster seat. "Oh goodness," she said, holding him as she shut the door with her butt. "You're getting to heavy for mommy to hold you." 

Summer walked up the front steps and into the house, pushing the door closed with her foot. "Kirsten, Sandy?" she asked, looking around the house.

Kirsten smiled as she walked gracefully out of the kitchen. "There's my big boy," she exclaimed, causing Caden to wiggle out of Summer's arms.

She knelt down to his level. "Give me kiss," she said, and he kissed her nose. "Love you. Be good with grandma!"

Kirsten smiled. "He always is. Are you all excited? Tomorrow is the big day!" Kirsten said, referring to the wedding.

Summer smiled. "Honestly, I'll be glad when it's all over with. I finally just let Gretchen take care of everything. Planning a wedding is hard."

Summer had hired a wedding planner to plan everything. She told Gretchen to do whatever she wanted.

So how the church looked and how the reception went was all riding on Gretchen. The only thing Summer had a say in was that she wanted salmon instead of chicken at the reception. Salmon was classier.

Well, she was completely in charge of the guest list to; so actually, she was in charge of two things. What she had wanted to be a small wedding, 100 people or less had quickly turned into 500.

Remembering the invitations, Summer hugged Kirsten goodbye and went back out to her car, driving away to Gretchen's office.

Apparently, there had been some mix up with some of the invitations. Some were sent back for the wrong addresses, and they all just so happened to be family, so Summer's stress level was sky high.

Summer bit her lip. Maybe stress was the reason for her later-than-late period. It couldn't be for any other reason. She was never irregular. And, the pregnancy test she had taken weeks earlier was negative, so unless it was a false negative…

Summer's breath stopped. That could be the reason. Suddenly she found herself praying that she was just overreacting. She had been drinking, taking medications, and had been relying on caffeine to keep her awake through the last few days. All of those were absolute no-no's in a pregnancy. If she was pregnant, she could have hurt the baby.

Her hands trembled on the steering wheel. "What if I am pregnant?" she asked herself aloud. She brought her hand to her right breast and pushed down a little. It was a little sore. They weren't nearly as sore as her breasts were when she was pregnant with Caden. She _had_ been nauseous the past few weeks, too.

"God, will you please just give me a sign?" she asked, looking up through her windshield.

The traffic light turned red and Summer eased to a stop. She looked out of her window, and there was a drug store. Summer blinked. It seemed to be beckoning her in.

She turned on her blinker and sped over to the store.

Summer smiled at the woman behind the counter. Walking down the aisle, Summer picked up a test and walked numbly to the front, paying for it.

She walked back outside and slid the brown bag in her purse. She didn't want to take it. Ever.

Assuming the worst, Summer cranked up her music and sang the whole way to Gretchen's office, as loud as she possibly could, hoping that somehow all of her worry and anxiety would come out through her lungs.

* * *

Summer sighed. She had wanted to ask him for the past week if he would walk her down the aisle, but she couldn't bring herself to. She was basically asking him to give her up. Deciding that if he looked at her like she was crazy, and realizing that her wedding was the following day and she was currently walking _herself_ down the aisle, she asked him, planning to pass it off as the alcohol in her system if he said no. 

Her head was in his lap, him mindlessly playing with her hair as he watched TV. "Seth?"

He looked down at her. "Yeah?" he asked.

Summer bit her lip. She didn't want to hurt him, but it would mean so much to her. "Will you…do you think you could…Cohen, will you walk me down the aisle…at my wedding?"

He didn't say anything for awhile. Then he leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Sure."


	13. Thinking Over

**A/N: It's a little late in the story, I know, but I really need a beta. I'm planning on writing another sequel, so I guess that would be a trilogy. Anyways, if anyone is interested please e-mail me! Thanks so much for the reviews for the last chapter, and please keep reviewing. It means a lot :)**

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.**

* * *

_"And I can't really tell you what I'm going to do  
There are so many thoughts in my head.  
There are two roads to walk down  
And one road to choose..."  
--Thinking Over (Dana Glover)_

* * *

The air burned her lungs as she gasped, breathing heavily. Beads of sweat were forming on forehead and slipping down the sides of her face. Summer stopped running and turned around, Seth a few feet back, his breathing labored. Caden was a little further ahead of Seth, running as fast as his short legs would carry him.

Summer laughed at the site. Seth looked like he was about to pass out, and Caden ran so funny but yet so cute.

Finally, they both caught up to Summer. "Remind me again why we're running," Seth said, leaning over so that his hands were clutching his knees. Summer rolled her eyes. "Because it's good exercise and it wakes you up," she explained. "Isn't that right baby?" Summer asked Caden, who nodded.

Seth groaned. "Still…it's gross. I'm all sweaty and I can barely breathe."

Summer, again, rolled her brown eyes. "You're such a girl, Cohen. And if you were in better shape, maybe you'd be able to breathe."

The sky was a pinky orange color, an effect of the rising sun, and Summer slipped her shoes and socks off so that the grainy sand of the beach would touch her bare feet.

"If you're so hot, go swimming," she said, acknowledging the ocean. Caden was already playing in the wet sand, attempting to build a sand castle. It looked more like a pile of sand, which it was, and Summer smiled.

She skipped over to Caden, Seth following suite, and they both plopped down on the sand beside Caden. Summer took a big handful of sand and added it to Caden's "castle".

Caden's eyes grew big and he pushed off the sand Summer had added. "No, mommy! My castle," he said, fixing it to his liking.

Summer pretended to be upset. "Fine, daddy and I will build our own castle," she said, turning around so that she could.

Seth joined Summer, each of them piling sand around. Their plan to make Caden jealous didn't work. He just kept building his own, minding his own business.

Summer finally gave up, standing up and walking to the incoming waves. Seth followed her. "I can't believe I'm getting married tonight," Summer said, looking into the sky.

She occasionally turned back to check on Caden. His chubby hands were working so hard to make a castle, his nose bunching up when he didn't like something. He got that from Seth.

"Me either. It is going to be a busy day, huh?"

Summer nodded. "So why the early morning run?" Seth asked her. The wind whipped furiously through the air and Summer's hair went flying. "Because it's my last morning with both of you together," she said, looking at him.

He nodded. "How about we go get some breakfast?"

Summer smiled weakly. "I can't. I have a hair appointment in an hour," she said, looking at him apologetically. Seth shook his head. "So we can leave now and eat fast. Come on, Sum. It's like, our last family outing."

Summer hesitated but then agreed. "Okay," she said.

* * *

The old diner looked exactly the same, their table exactly the same. Memories of their high school days flooded back to both Seth and Summer when they entered the beachside restaurant that had once been a very special place for them. 

They went on dates there. They had hung out with Ryan and Marissa at the same table.

Summer settled into the familiar booth and an unknown waitress came to take their orders, reminding Summer that things change. People change.

"I don't remember the last time I was in here," Summer said, looking around.

"I know. It seems like it's been a million years."

Summer nodded her head. "Remember that time when Marissa danced on the table?"

Seth laughed. "Yeah, and we got banned from this place for a month!"

Summer smiled. "Coop was always the wild one."

"Yeah, and you were always the one with a plan," he reminisced, smiling at her from across the table.

"Well, I had to have plans. You kept getting us into all this crazy stuff," she said.

"Only because Ryan kept rescuing these Newport bad girls--we were constantly bailing him out."

Summer laughed. "We were so crazy in high school. Let's see…we went to a party in L.A. where a hot actor came onto me, tried to start up a comic book, and you licked whipped cream off of a practically naked skank in Miami," she said, adding a tone to the last bit.

"Ah, you forget to say that Marissa was a lesbian, Ryan got Theresa pregnant, and I sailed away to Tahiti for two months and stayed with Luke and his gay dad."

Summer laughed. "It seems like it was so long ago," she said as the waitress set their plates of food in front of them.

"Mommy?" Caden asked, looking over at Summer. "What's a lesbian?"

Summer eyes grew. Seth laughed and looked at Summer. "Yes, Summer. What's a lesbian?" She glared at him. "It's grown up stuff baby," she explained, taking his plate and cutting his waffle into tiny pieces.

Seth rolled his eyes. "That's the best you've got?"

Summer kicked him under the table, and his face scrunched in pain. "God woman. I was just joking," he said.

Summer smirked and said "Me to."

"There's no such thing as a physical joke."

"Yeah there is."

"Like what?" Seth asked.

"Like when I kick you between the legs and you hunch over with laughter," she retorted, sticking a fork full of pancakes in her mouth.

"Someone's comebacks have improved."

Summer pretended to laugh. "Ha ha," she said. "You're so funny Cohen."

"Finally you realize I'm the funny one. You can give up now."

Summer smiled. "Whatever. Eat. I have to be out of here soon."

* * *

Summer closed her eyes and tried to relax. Her feet were currently involved in a pedicure, her fingernails we're being painted, and a curling iron was being wrapped around every piece of her hair. 

She was being pampered, and as hard as she tried, she couldn't relax. Her wedding was in four hours!

The hairdresser took a diamond barrette and pulled some of Summer's hair back with it. The rest hung in loose curls on her shoulders. The manicurist and the pedicurist were putting the final touches on her nails, and Summer relaxed a little.

The day was going great. She was on schedule for everything. Plus, her morning with Seth and Caden had definitely helped.

Stepping out of the chair, Summer went into the make-up room and sat in the big black chair, ready for her face to be pampered. Soon, a gay man in all black stepped in front of Summer.

He applied her make-up like the professional he was, then coated her lips with a gloss sure to last 24 hours.

Summer smiled at herself in the mirror. Everything was unfolding perfectly.

* * *

Summer sat in a chair, staring blindly at her dress. She was in the church, people finally arriving, and Summer felt her stomach knotting. She was upset that her father couldn't be at the wedding, and about the results of the pregnancy test she had just taken. 

A small knock on the door brought Summer out of her thoughts and her voice squeaked when she said "Come in."

Kirsten Cohen smiled warmly at Summer when she walked in the door. "Hi sweetie," she said, taking the dress off the hanger. "Your step-mom called me. She's running a little late so she asked me to come in here with you. Come on, get dressed," she demanded, thrusting the dress at Summer.

Summer smiled at the woman. Standing up from the chair, she stripped off her clothes and put the white dress on. Kirsten had tears in her eyes. "Oh Summer," she whispered.

"I remember you as a little girl, playing with Marissa next door every afternoon. You're so grown up now," she said, wiping away some tears. Summer turned and hugged the grandmother of her son.

"Can you zip me?" she asked, turning around so Kirsten could.

Kirsten ran the zipper up the track and fluffed Summer's veil that was attached to the diamond barrette. "You look beautiful."

Summer smiled and swished around. "Thanks, Kirsten. For everything…you've been so supportive of Seth and me. And now you're helping me get ready for my wedding to David…"

Kirsten nodded. "Anything for you--I hope you and David are very happy."

Kirsten took a pearl necklace out of her purse and wrapped it around Summer's neck. "This was the necklace I wore when I married Sandy, and I would be honored if you would wear it."

Summer brought her hand up to cover the necklace. "Kirsten, you really don't have to," she said.

Kirsten shook her head. "Come one, you're like the daughter I never had. Please wear it…no one else ever will."

Summer admired the necklace. "It's so beautiful," she said.

Kirsten pulled Summer into a hug. "If you guys ever need anything, let Sandy and I know. We'll be happy to help."

Summer smiled. "I know."

* * *

Sandy smiled at familiar people as he walked toward his son. "Seth, your mother and I have to go," he said quietly. 

Seth looked at him questionably. "What are you talking about? Why?"

"I just got a phone call," Sandy explained. "Your nana collapsed. She's in the hospital; the doctor's say that it's not looking good. Are you coming?"

Seth shook his head. "Dad, I can't. Summer is getting married. I'm walking her down the aisle, remember? I can't just leave."

His voice got a little softer with emotion when he said the words aloud. He was walking Summer down the aisle. He was giving her away, letting her go.

The memory of when she asked him rushed into his head.

_Summer sighed. She had wanted to ask him for the past week if he would walk her down the aisle, but she couldn't bring herself to. She was basically asking him to give her up. _

_Finally she gathered her courage. Her head was in his lap, him mindlessly playing with her hair as he watched TV. "Seth?" _

_He looked down at her. "Yeah?" he asked. _

_Summer bit her lip. She didn't want to hurt him, but it would mean so much to her. "Will you…do you think you could…Cohen, will you walk me down the aisle…at my wedding?"_

_He didn't say anything for awhile. Then he leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Sure."_

Sandy understood and he nodded. "Seth, I wouldn't be asking you to come if it wasn't serious. I know that being here is important, but your grandmother is dying. She may not make it through this. The flight leaves in 30 minutes. Think fast…"

Seth leaned against the wall. Great! As if he wasn't dying enough inside because Summer was marrying another man, now he had to make a very important decision in about 5 seconds: go see his dying grandmother, or walk Summer, love of his life, down the aisle.

He swallowed hard. What to do?

* * *

Summer sat back in the chair she was previously occupying, fiddling with her fingers. Sandy had pulled Kirsten out into the hall to talk to her about something. 

Her mind was racing. She had a secret—a very big secret. Something she had done before Kirsten had come into the room. Summer stared at the open door the bathroom that was connected to the room.

A tear slid down her cheek. She heard the door click back open and Summer smiled at Kirsten, who returned it. "Summer, listen. The nana collapsed and the doctors are saying she might not make it."

Summer waved her hand in the air. "Go," she said, smiling weakly at the woman. Kirsten's shoulders sunk. "Are you sure sweetie?"

Kirsten saw the tears in Summer's eyes. "Let me get you some tissues," Kirsten offered, stepping into the bathroom.

Summer sprang from the chair, racing to the bathroom.

But it was too late. Kirsten had seen it. She was holding it.

"You're pregnant."


	14. The Voice Within

**A/N: Thanks a lot to all of you who offered to be a beta for me! I accepted ****_Somebody's Dark Angels _****offer, so thank you so much for helping me and for all of your suggestions! They were all great. Also, thanks for all the reviews! They were great! Please keep em' coming :) **

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.**

* * *

_"When there's no one else  
Look inside yourself  
Like your oldest friend  
Just trust the voice within  
Then you'll find the strength  
That will guide your way  
If you will learn to begin  
To trust the voice within"  
--The Voice Within (Christina Aguilera)_

* * *

"What? Seth, no! She's counting on you to be here. Besides, Summer and I aren't even that close." Ryan was beyond shocked that Seth would even consider asking him to walk Summer down the aisle.

"Please, Ryan. I can't do it. I should have never agreed to it. And the nana is sick and this is the only plane leaving for Miami for the next two days. I have to go."

Ryan huffed. "Fine, I'll do it. But you have to tell her you're not going to be here."

Seth sucked in his bottom lip. "I don't have time. She'll get all emotional and I'll be in there for hours. Please…I'll do anything...well not _anything _because I can actually think-"

"No! I'm not telling her. You have to," Ryan argued.

Seth shook his head. "Seriously, dude. I can't do it. It's like, physically impossible for me to do it. She'll give me those puppy dog eyes. Or worse! She'll tell me to go."

"Why is that worse?" Ryan asked, confused.

"Um, because it will be a lie and she is a horrible liar and it will make me sad to see her try and lie just for me. See? Either way, she sucks me in. Please, man. Just do this one thing for me."

Seth softened his eyes and pouted his lips. Ryan rolled his eyes at Seth's attempt to get him to give in. "I'm not Summer; puppy dog eyes don't work on me."

Seth continued to keep his puppy dog eyes. "Come on man. Like I said earlier, it's just one tiny favor."

"Seth, you're asking me to do two things--two very major things."

"Whatever…1 and 2 aren't that different."

Ryan rolled his eyes. Time seemed to inch slowly by and Seth was getting anxious. "Fine," Ryan finally said. "But this is the last thing I ever do for you."

* * *

Kirsten turned around to face Summer. "Sweetheart, that's great! And it's a good thing you and David are getting married." 

Summer's heart stopped beating. Kirsten thought the baby was David's. A part of her was relieved that she didn't know it was Seth's baby. But another part of her was flaring up with anger. Did Kirsten really think she was that trashy? Summer would be disgusted with herself if she had two children with two different men.

Some girls could do that and be fine with it, but Summer Roberts was not one of those girls.

Sandy poked his head in the room. "Kirsten, we really have to leave," he said. Kirsten held a finger up, asking for one more minute. "I'm so sorry we can't be here," she said again, pulling Summer into a hug.

Summer nodded, leaning against the counter of the bathroom as she watched Kirsten and Sandy leave. Then she heard another knock on the door and she yelled, "Come in."

She walked out of the bathroom and saw Ryan smiling nervously at her.

Confused, Summer asked, "Ryan? What're you doing in here?"

He looked around. "So, Seth wanted me to tell you that…he can't walk you down the aisle. The nana collapsed so he had to go," he explained.

Summer's once confused expression was waved over with sadness. "So I'm walking myself down the aisle?" she asked.

Ryan shook his head. "If you wouldn't mind, I'd be glad to."

She looked at him, knowing that Cohen had told him to ask her. She'd be much happier with Seth doing it, but that wasn't really an option, and she refused to walk down the aisle by herself. Smiling, Summer said "Ya know, Chino, I just might take you up on that offer."

He smiled. "We better go, then. The bridesmaids are already walking down the aisle."

Summer followed Ryan out of the room, dying inside. She felt like every organ in her body was shutting down. Seth wouldn't be at her wedding. He wouldn't be giving her away. Not to mention the fact that she was scum. Seth's baby was inside her. The pregnancy test she had taken weeks before had been a false negative.

She was pregnant with Seth's baby, and she was getting married to David. Summer could practically see her mind splitting into two different people, like on those after school specials she and Seth both hated with a passion. There would always be a little miniature clone of the "wrong doer" floating in the air dressed like an angel and one dressed like a devil, and the angel would be telling you the right thing to do and the devil would be telling you to do the wrong.

Summer's angel clone was telling her, "Don't deny your feelings for Seth. Don't go to the front of the church and lie by marrying David. You're pregnant with Seth's child again. Go…be happy and honest."

However, the devil was saying the complete opposite. "Shut up you damn angel! Marry David, Summer. Convince him you two had drunken sex a few months ago and _voila_! A baby is cooking. He'll believe you, and Seth will never have to know."

The wedding march started to play and Summer threaded her arm through Ryan's, clutching her bouquet for dear life. The huge wooden doors flew open and Summer's fake smile overtook her face so easily that she inwardly laughed at herself. It was the same smile she had practiced making when she was 13 years old, and whenever she was around a walking plastic surgery billboard, she would use it.

Hundreds of people smiled back at Summer. Marissa was at the front, standing right behind where Summer would be. She smiled at David, who was up at the altar smiling back at her.

When they finally reached their destination, Ryan lifted Summer's veil and kissed her cheek. "I hope you two are really happy. And I mean that," Ryan said, letting her veil fall back in front of her face. She smiled at him, a sincere one, before turning around to David.

Pastor Rob began to speak. "Friends, we have been invited here today to share with David and Summer a very important moment in their lives. In the time they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife."

The rest of the ceremony panned out perfectly. The vows were traded without so much as a stutter, the candles were lit graciously and uneventfully, and they had listened as a professional singer had sung the two "love birds" a song.

"Now for the exchanging of the rings," the pastor said. David turned to his best friend, the best man, getting the ring, and Summer turned to Marissa, the matron of honor.

The church was silent as David slid the ring on Summer's finger. "I David, give you, Summer, this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you."

Summer slid the ring onto his finger. "I Summer, give you, David, this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you."

The pastor smiled, as did David.

"If anyone in this church sees why this couple should not be married, speak now, or forever hold your peace."

Both Summer and David stared at the church full of people. Summer's conscious was nagging at her. She knew that no one would say anything. If she wanted to object she would have to do so herself.

Summer looked around the audience of guests, friends and family staring back at her. Her eyes met a pair that matched her very own, his hair curly and brown, and he gave her a toothy smile. She smiled back at her baby, the person she was doing all of this for, and wished he was old enough to tell her if this was what he wanted her to do.

Summer looked back at David, smiling at him, forcing herself to happy and listen to what the pastor was saying.

"Then by the state of California, I now pronounce you—"

"STOP!"

Gasps were heard all around the church. Marissa's eyes widened and she glanced at Caden, who looked delighted, before turning to look at Ryan, whose face mirrored hers.

David looked just as confused as Marissa and Ryan, choosing to ignore the happiness he saw on Caden's face.

Summer swallowed hard. "We're not married yet, are we?" she asked the pastor, sounding worried, and he shook his head no.

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God. Look, David, I have a confession to make," she began. "I can't marry you…I'm still in love with...someone else."

David's eyes were filled with anger. "Summer," he whispered sharply, burning holes into her. "What do you think you're doing? You can't come up here and embarrass me like this."

Summer felt like a million knives had just been pulled out of her. It was incredibly painful at first, but she was relieved that it was over with. "David, I'm so sorry," she said.

His glare grew stronger and Summer instinctively stepped away from him. She had never seen this side of him before, and she was glad it was coming out now, rather than later.

"Is this about Seth, Summer? I swear to God I'll kill him," he said, his voice low and filled with rage.

Marissa stepped up beside Summer, daring David to lay a single hand on her best friend.

"Summer, why don't you tell all these guests why we can't get married," David yelled, and Summer's cheeks were red with anger and embarrassment.

"David, stop." Summer's voice was shaky but strict.

He looked at her. "No, Summer. Tell them why. Tell them how you led me on all these months." His voice was raspy, barely above a whisper.

Summer cocked her eyebrow. "You think I'm scared or something?" she asked him. "Fine, I'll tell them. I'm in love with someone else. I have been since I was a sophomore in high school…we have two children together…yeah, I guess that makes me pretty low, but I'd be even lower if I had married you."

Marissa's mouth fell open, as did every other guest at the wedding. "That's right, David. I'm pregnant."

He looked at her with disgust. "It's a good thing I didn't marry you then. There's no room for tramps in my family."

Marissa's best friend-mode snapped on and she stepped in front of Summer, "Excuse me? You don't talk to her like that. I don't blame her for stopping this wedding. I feel sorry for any woman that ends up with you next."

Summer's head was starting to spin. This was all too much. The pastor was confused beyond words, Marissa was screaming at her ex-groom to be, Caden was bouncingcheerfully in his seat, and Ryan was standing up out of the pew, walking forward, and the rest of the church was staring at her.

Finally, she found her voice and said, "You can all go to the reception now. Eat, dance, have fun. Sorry we wasted your evening."

And with that, she walked back down the aisle.


	15. Heaven

**Disclaimer: Okay, let's get this straight. It hasn't belonged to me in the past 14 chapters. What makes you think it belongs to me in the 15?**

* * *

_"Baby you're all that I want  
When you're lyin' here in my arms  
I'm findin' it hard to believe  
We're in heaven"  
--Heaven (D.J. Sammy)_

* * *

The old Summer Roberts would never have done something like the new Summer Roberts had just done. Sure, the high school version of Summer was spunky, vivacious, blunt and outgoing. But she was never one to stand up for herself. When something bad happened, she curled up in a ball and shunned the outside world.

The new, adult Summer Roberts was everything the high school Summer Roberts was, except she did stand up for herself. Caden's birth and experiencing motherhood played a huge factor in that new personality trait.

Right after she had stopped the wedding, she had had the sickest feeling in her stomach, because the whole reason she was marrying David was because she wanted Caden to have a strong family. But she'd chosen the selfish thing. Now, though, as Summer was riding in the limo to the airport, she realized that it wasn't selfish, because Caden didn't need just any old guy to give him a strong family.

It had to be Seth Cohen, which was why she was in a limo heading straight for the airport. Summer looked around the limo. There were roses and things on the seats. She laughed. It was supposed to be taking her on her honeymoon.

In a way, it kind of was.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The car hadn't even come to a complete stop, but that didn't stop Summer from flinging the door open and jumping out, clutching her white satin dress in one hand as she ran through people and into the airport.

Summer ran to Information and, heaving from blood rush and lack of oxygen, asked the woman at the table, "Has the plane to Miami left yet?"

The woman smiled and typed something into her computer. "It took off 5 minutes ago," she said, turning back to Summer.

Summer's shoulders sank and her heart slowed down. Left, as in gone? This was not supposed to happen like this. She was supposed to make it to the airport just in time to see him heading through the gate. Kind of like Ross and Rachel, only Seth would stay as soon as he saw her. Not get on the plane anyways.

And he was supposed to pick her up and plant kisses all over her face.

But this folding out of events was all wrong.

"Ma'am?"

Summer returned from her zone out and looked sadly at the receptionist. "When is the next flight to Miami?"

"It's in two days," she answered.

Summer nodded and turned around, walking back out of the airport. Why did life have to be so disappointing? If only it could be like the movies.

She slid back into the limo and asked the limo driver to take her back to the church. She threw her head back on the leather seat as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Exactly why she was crying Summer didn't know. Maybe it was from pure emotional exhaustion. Maybe it was the fact that at this exact moment, Seth thought Summer was married to David. Or maybe, just maybe, it was that she was carrying Seth's baby and he had no idea.

She swiped the tears away, disgusted with herself. How could she be so selfish? Seth's grandmother was in the hospital dying and she was thinking about herself.

Summer pulled her compact out of her purse and laughed at herself. Black mascara streaked her face. She ran a finger over the black line and got it off best she could. Why hadn't she worn waterproof mascara like most brides did on their wedding day? Maybe it's because she knew she wouldn't cry. This wasn't a special day for her. She didn't love the man she had readily agreed to marry.

Clicking the compact closed, she sighed.

Her life was a lot like the mascara: a mess.

The reception was on the beach outside behind the church, and Summer walked toward the white tent.

Soft jazz music encircled the cool night air and the smell of salmon and roasted baby carrots engulfed her as she entered the large white tent. She gasped at how beautiful everything was.

Dark red drapery hung loosely, rose petals and floating candles served as centerpieces, and white lights made the dim tent glow. It was lovely. Gretchen, her wedding planner, had done a wonderful job.

She received a few smiles from guests, some telling her how beautiful she looked, and then congratulating her on the baby. She just smiled and thanked them, wondering why she had even come to the reception, wanting nothing more than to get her son, take him home, and watch Disney movies all night.

She avoided David's family members, surprised they had even come. Summer walked over to the large cake, her stomach grumbling at the sight.

"Summer!"

Summer's face lit up at the sound of the familiar voice. She turned to the blonde haired girl behind her, pulling her into a tight hug. "Katie!"

Summer stepped back from her, looking her over. She hadn't seen Katie since the day she left New York back in high school. They had been best friends, bonding mostly because they were both pregnant, but also because Katie was a native of New York City. Katie had been her savior, rescuing her from gang-member thugs that still hit on her despite her swelling tummy. Summer would have died without her.

Summer's smile was ear to ear. "Oh my gosh, I haven't seen you since…like 3 years ago! How's Benjamin? You should see Caden. He's getting so big!"

Katie laughed. "I know! It's been so long! Ben is great. I saw Caden already. He and Ben are playing right now."

Summer's hand went up to her forehead. "This has been the craziest day ever."

Katie nodded. "I loved your performance at the ceremony."

Summer half laughed. "Last minute change of plans, I guess," she said, smiling.

"Where did you go after that?" Katie asked.

Summer looked around the tent at all the people. Some were sitting, eating, and some were dancing to the live band. "The airport," she responded, taking a glass of water from one of the trays a caterer was walking around with.

"Seth had to go to Miami to see his grandmother. I tried to catch him before he left, but the plane had already taken off."

Katie looked sympathetically at her friend. "I'm sorry," she said.

Summer nodded. The room felt thick and hot all of a sudden, and Summer excused herself. "I really need some air," she said. She moved quickly through the tent, hoping to avoid anyone talking to her, and she succeeded.

She walked far out into the night, the lights from her reception glowing off in the distance. She could still hear the music, playing a more upbeat song now, and she wished she could feel as upbeat as the song sounded.

Her hair blew in the wind and she folded her arms as shivers went down her spine. Plopping down in the sand, not even caring about her wedding gown, she looked out at the ocean.

Moments later, a jacket was wrapped around her shoulders and Summer jumped a little. Looking up, she saw the one person she wanted to see.

"Cohen?" she whispered as he sank down beside her. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard my mom talking to my dad…and she said you were pregnant. She thought it was with…she thought it was with David. But I think I knew better."

Summer didn't know what kind of facial expression to have. Was he upset, angry, annoyed, all of the above?

But then his face broke out into a smile, and his curly hair was being swept up in the wind, and she could feel his warm breath on her face.

"So are you married?" he asked, his voice hushed, and she knew that he already knew the answer.

Summer shook her head, her eyes closing as his lips grew closer to hers. And finally, she felt his lips brushing across hers. It was so short and so filled with emotions that Summer felt like crying.

When they pulled apart, she laid her head on his shoulder, his arm instantly wrapping around her body.

"I love you, Sum."

"What about Olivia?"

He laughed. "You've got to be kidding me. She was never anything."

Summer smiled. "Neither was David."

"You just agreed to marry him," Seth joked, earning an elbow in his ribs. "God, woman, I just passed up Miami to get abused?"

She smiled again. It was silent a little longer, both of them reflecting on everything. She felt his lips on the top of her head, and she turned so that she was facing him.

"I love you too, Cohen."

He smiled, bringing their lips back together.

After pulling apart from each other, Summer lay down on the grainy sand and looked up at the sky. Seth did too, lacing their fingers together. "Remember when we used to come out here back in high school?"

Seth smiled at the memory and nodded. "We had our special place."

Summer turned on her side to look at him. "You told me you wanted to marry me there."

They stared at each other as the memory came back to the both of them, lifting them into a time-machine and zipping them off into senior year.

_Seth just took in her beauty. She looked so peaceful, lying in the sand, her eyes closed. He turned his vision back to the sky but it didn't seem as beautiful as the woman lying next to him._

"_I've never seen anything more beautiful," she said, finally opening her eyes. Seth looked at her strangely. "You've never seen anything more beautiful than the inside of your eyelids?"_

_Summer rolled her eyes and playfully smacked his chest. "I meant the stars dumbass."_

"_I have seen something more beautiful," he replied, turning his gaze on her. _

"_What?"_

"_You," he responded._

_Summer rolled her eyes. "What a line," she said, giggling. _

"_One day we're going to get married at this very same place," he said._

"_You're so cheesy. Are you pre-proposing to me?" she asked through her smiling mouth._

"_Maybe," he said, smiling back at her._

"_Well I accept," she said, laughing at how incredibly mushy they were acting._

_Seth stood up and walked toward the lapping water just a few feet away. "What are you doing?" she asked, sitting up. He walked back up to her and lay back down. Holding his hand out, he handed her a small seashell. "Think of it as an engagement ring."_

_Summer bit her lower lip. She felt like crying. She took the shell and admired it. It had little swirls of purple in it._

_She rolled over so that she was on her stomach and rested her head on his chest. She listened to his heartbeat. Closing her eyes, she pictured her and Seth raising a family together, getting married, and spending their lives with each other. Nothing had ever made her feel happier._

Summer turned onto her stomach, propping herself up on her elbows. "We still engaged, Cohen? Cuz I've gotta say, you've kind of been leading me on."

Seth laughed. "Depends."

"On?"

Seth rolled his eyes. "Duh; it depends on whether or not you still have the seashell."

She smiled. "And if I don't?"

"We might just have to re-create that night, then."

Seth jumped up and held his hand out to Summer. She took it gladly, dusting off her gown. "Shall we?"

They both took off running, Summer giggling and clutching her dress as they ran to the one place that was theirs.

It was a ways off, but when they finally reached it, Summer grinned. _So_ many things had happened here.

_She rolled over so that she was on her stomach and rested her head on his chest. She listened to his heartbeat. Closing her eyes, she pictured her and Seth raising a family together, getting married, and spending their lives with each other. Nothing had ever made her feel happier._

_Just then, huge rain drops landed on her, a few at first, but then they just poured down. Her eyes flew open. There weren't even any clouds in the sky. Seth grabbed her arm and started to run but she stalled._

_She turned her head upright to the rain and let it fall on her face. "You ever danced in the rain, Cohen?" she asked him, looking down long enough to meet his gaze. _

"_Nope," he answered._

_She paused. "Will you dance with me?" _

_He smiled. What had he ever done to deserve her? Walking towards her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and she rested her head against him. The only music was the sound of the raindrops hitting the ocean. They were getting soaked, but they didn't care._

"_Ya know," Seth said. "Whoever said sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain," he said, kissing the top of her drenched hair._

"Do you want to be totally cheesy and dance?" Seth asked, and Summer nodded.

"We have no music, though. Of course, that's never stopped us before," she recalled.

_They finally reached their spot and they both stopped and stared out at the ocean. It looked the same as it did that night so long ago; vast, blue, and beautiful. It made Summer feel so insignificant and small._

_Seth's voice cracked but he continued to talk. "Do you want to dance?"_

_Summer smiled. Seth could always make her heart melt. "We don't have any music," she said._

_Seth shook his head. "I'll sing for you."_

_Summer laughed quietly. She wrapped her arms around Seth's and leaned her head into the crook in his neck._

"_Cuz I ain't no holla back girl," Seth sang, using a high-pitched voice. _

_Summer lurched back, doubling over in laughter. "Never again Cohen!" she warned playfully._

_She took her previous position, breathing in his cologne. His voice sounded low and quiet and it made her knees so weak._

"So Mr. Cohen," Summer began. "What ever will you sing me tonight?"

Seth closed his eyes to think. He opened them soon after, having figured it out. "I'm not gonna tell you how I know this song," he said, groaning at how incredibly cheesy he was, but also so amazed at himself. He was _so_ in love with her that he was dancing with her on the beach, singing softly into her ear.

_Oh - thinkin' about our younger years  
There was only __you and me__  
We were young and wild and free _

Now nothin' can take you away from me  
We've been down that road before  
But that's over now  
You keep me comin' back for more  
Baby you're all that I want  
When you're lyin' here in my arms  
I'm findin' it hard to believe  
We're in heaven

And love is all that I need  
And I found it there in your heart  
It isn't too hard to see  
We're in heaven

Oh - once in your life you find someone  
Who will turn your world around  
Bring you up when you're feelin' down

Ya - nothin' could change what you mean to me  
Oh there's lots that I could say  
But just hold me now  
Cause our love will light the way

I've bin waitin' for so long  
For somethin' to arrive  
For love to come along

Now our dreams are comin' true  
Through the good times and the bad  
Ya - I'll be standin' there by you

A small tear slipped out of Summer's eye. She couldn't believe any of this. She and Seth had first started dating her sophomore year in high school, continued until their second year of college, and now, in spite of everything, they were together again, dancing on the beach like they were the only two beings left on the surface of the earth.

It sure felt like they were.

She felt Seth's soft lips kiss her neck lightly and she sighed. "I love you," he said, now placing a kiss on her nose.

She smiled. "I wanna get married."

Seth laughed. "You almost did."

Summer shoved him a little, playfully of course. "I'm serious. I want to marry _you_."

"Sum, I already beat you to the punch. I told you like, three years ago that I want to marry you."

Summer shook her head. "Oh my God, do I have to spell it out for you? I'm asking you."

Seth stopped swaying and pulled back a little, looking at her. "Are you serious?"

Summer nodded, her face starting to hurt from smiling so much. "We have been though so much together, and we stray off and date other people. And yeah, a lot of people do that. But we always get drawn back to each other. That's special. And we have a child together, and another one is coming, and I love you so much. I want to be with you now, and tomorrow, and next year. And every day that comes after that."

Summer just stared at Seth, and he just stared at her, minutes passing without him saying anything.

"Summer, do you realize how crazy you sound right now? You're standing here in a wedding dress. Are you sure you're not all caught up in the moment or anything?"

"Cohen," she whispered. "I know what I'm doing. _Will_ you marry me?"

Seth smiled. "I always thought I would be asking you this."

Summer rolled her eyes. "Yeah well you don't always get everything you want."

"I do," he said, his face turning serious. "Seriously, you're asking me to marry you?"

Summer nodded again, biting her lip nervously.

"Of course I will."

Summer's face brightened in a smile again, and she jumped back into his arms. She hugged him tightly as he swept light kisses on her shoulders.

"We're engaged!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A lot of people had left the reception already. Summer and Seth entered the tent hand-in-hand, receiving smiles from all their friends and family. It looked as if David's guests had cleared out and for that, Summer was glad.

She could _so_ not deal with hateful glares right now.

She was in bliss. She hadn't been this happy since high school.

Caden's eyes lit up when he saw his mommy and daddy. He ran over to them, extending his arms for one of them to pick him up. Seth did, scooping his little boy into his arms.

Seth wrapped his other arm around Summer's waist, and she laughed. Smiling, she brushed some curls away from Caden's forehead, and then away from Seth's.

Seth pulled Summer closer to him as they bombarded their son with hugs, kisses, and laughter.

Life had taken them both on a rocky road the past few months. But from everything they had been through, they had both concluded two things: being apart was disastrous, and being together worked. They worked.

It works.

* * *

**A/N: Wow! I really do not know how to thank all of you guys for reading! It's been awesome. All of your reviews, comments, suggestions (heck, just your view!) have meant so much. It really keeps me writing these chapters. I'm definitely going to make this story a trilogy.**

**Sorry for not having this chapter up sooner! It's been a few weeks since I updated last. A lot has been going on, though, and for awhile the website wasn't letting me log in. As soon as it started working again, I sent the chapter to my beta to be "made better" --lol.**

**THANK YOU again. Seriously,THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!**

**...till' next time.**

**-Autumn-**

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